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Two Lessons for Gaining Confidence at Work: What Earthquakes Teach Us and Why Common Sense Still Matters

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Confidence at work isn’t about pretending the ground will never move—it’s about preparing for disruption and trusting the simple wisdom you already have. These 2 articles are from my Linkedin newsletter edition which you can join here for easier access(Go to LinkedIn) .

Article (1) an earthquake metaphor for career resilience (with practical drills to stay ready), and Article (2) the underrated power of common sense for being true to yourself. You’ll leave with a step-by-step plan to gain confidence at work, live authentically, and lead with clarity—plus links to newsletter deep dives for each lesson.

Why Confidence Feels Shaky in Today’s Workplace (and what to do about it)

The modern workplace can feel like a fault line: restructures, AI shifts, leadership changes, client churn, deadlines that slide without warning. If your confidence dips when things lurch sideways, that’s not a personal failing—it’s a predictable response to uncertainty.

This article blends two perspectives that reinforce each other:

  • Article 1: Earthquake readiness as a metaphor for career resilience—how to gain confidence at work when change is sudden.
  • Article 2: Common sense as a daily practice—how being true to yourself builds calm authority and trust.

Use the table of contents to skim, or read straight through for the full arc.

You waana grow? Then read more on How to Gain Confidence at Work by Being True to Yourself

Article 1 — Earthquake Readiness: How to Gain Confidence at Work When Everything Feels Unstable

The Earthquake Metaphor: Expect tremors, prepare, stay flexible

Workplace resilience graphic with text “Fearing job loss? Be always disaster ready” comparing job security to earthquake preparedness.

Earthquakes are unpredictable. The same is true for many career jolts: a project gets shelved, a manager moves on, a tool you rely on becomes obsolete. Countries in seismic zones don’t wait for certainty—they design for instability. Buildings sway instead of snapping, schools run drills, and people keep go-bags with essentials.

Confidence is similar. You don’t need guarantees; you need preparedness + flexibility. When you plan for tremors, you move from fear to focus.

Career Preparedness Framework (to gain confidence at work during sudden change)

1) Strengthen your foundation with continuous learning

how to build confidence at work through continuous learning

  • Pick one competency per quarter. Don’t boil the ocean. Choose the next most valuable skill (e.g., data storytelling, stakeholder mapping, prompt design for AI tools, conflict navigation).
  • Create a practice loop. Learn → apply within 7 days → get feedback → refine.
  • Document your “before and after.” A simple log of improvements becomes proof, which boosts confidence and supports performance reviews.

2) Run “career drills” so change doesn’t rattle you

Ways to prepare for sudden changes at work

  • Scenario rehearsal (10 minutes/week):
    • If my manager leaves next month, I will…
    • If our budget is cut 30%, I will…
    • If AI automates 40% of my tasks, I will…
  • Micro-drills: Practice a 60-second status summary, a 2-minute project pitch, and a 3-question discovery call. Repetition reduces panic and increases perceived leadership.

3) Anchor decisions to values—authenticity is your base isolation

how being true to yourself helps you gain confidence at work
Values act like base isolators under a high-rise: they absorb shock. Identify your top three (e.g., clarity, respect, reliability) and translate them into behaviors under pressure:

  • Clarity → “I state trade-offs directly.”
  • Respect → “I listen before I argue.”
  • Reliability → “I make fewer promises—and meet every one.”

Earthquake-Ready Mindset: Calm is a habit you practice

The “PAUSE → SCAN → ACT” loop for unstable moments

  • PAUSE (5 seconds): Breathe and name what’s happening. (“We lost a client. I feel a surge of anxiety.”)
  • SCAN (15 seconds): What’s still true? What options exist? Who can help?
  • ACT (next step only): Draft an email, schedule a huddle, or clarify scope. Confidence comes from visible progress, not perfect plans.

One example being The flexible specialist

A product analyst realizes AI can generate baseline dashboards. Instead of resisting, she doubles down on storytelling and decision design. She becomes the person leaders call to translate data into action. Prepared + flexible → more confidence, more impact.

Quick Wins You Can Do This Week

Monday – Map your tremors

List the top 3 uncertainties you face. For each, write a first step you can take within 24 hours.

Wednesday – Skill practice

Block 30 minutes to practice a micro-drill (pitch, summary, or negotiation line). Hit record on your phone; review once.

Friday – Values in action

Pick one tough conversation you handled this week. Note where you acted from your values—and where you’ll improve next time.

👉 Want the “earthquake drills” playbook? I’ve expanded this in my newsletter. [Read the full version here].

Article 2 — Common Sense at Work: The Most Underrated Way to Live Authentically (and be trusted)

Why we overlook common sense (even when it’s right in front of us)

Work can reward complexity: frameworks, jargon, slide-ware. But common sense—the plain, practical wisdom we all recognize—often delivers results faster with fewer politics. It also aligns naturally with being true to yourself, which is where calm confidence comes from.

Common Sense Habits that Build Everyday Confidence

An image with the title "Common Sense Lessons" Below the title are three sections. The first section has a lightbulb icon and the text "Small Steps Beat Big Jumps → Consistency > instant results." The second section has a footsteps icon and the text "Listen Before Acting → Communication builds confidence at work." The third section has a compass icon and the text "Don’t Overcomplicate → Simple decisions often work best."

1) Listen before you decide

Common sense says: understand first, then optimize.

  • Ask, “What problem is painful right now?”
  • Reflect back what you heard (one line).
  • Propose the smallest useful next step.
    simple ways to gain confidence at work by listening first

2) Make fewer promises—and keep every one

Trust compounds when your word is gold.

  • Replace “I’ll try” with “I’ll deliver X by Friday 3pm.”
  • If scope changes, renegotiate early, not late.
    how keeping promises at work builds credibility and confidence

3) Prefer the simplest workable solution

Before you spin up a six-step program, ask: What would a thoughtful beginner do?

  • Ship a one-page brief before a 30-slide deck.
  • Pilot with one team before a company-wide rollout.
  • Automate repetitive steps only after you stabilize the manual process.
    use common sense at work to reduce overthinking and act confidently

4) Tell the truth kindly (especially when it’s inconvenient)

Authenticity without empathy is bluntness; empathy without authenticity is avoidance. Common sense sits in the middle: clear + kind.

  • “I want this to succeed. Here’s where I’m concerned… and what I propose.”
    being true to yourself at work without sounding harsh

The Psychology Behind Common Sense and Authentic Leadership

Heuristics you can trust (with guardrails)

We all use mental shortcuts. The trick is to choose reliable ones and set boundaries.

  • Default to clarity. If the message is muddled, you’ll rework it anyway.
  • Default to iteration. Small tests beat big bets when uncertainty is high.
  • Default to transparency. Light prevents rumor mills.

Authenticity reduces cognitive load

When your inner script matches your outer behavior, you stop spending energy on performance. That spare energy fuels focus, creativity, and poise, which read as confidence to everyone around you.

Common Sense to Calm the Noise

Meeting reset

Open with, “What outcome do we need in 30 minutes?” Park everything else.

Decision rule

If two options are equally good, pick the simpler one with the faster feedback loop.

Quote graphic saying “People just don’t have common sense” highlighting challenges of workplace decision-making and authenticity.

Conflict de-escalation

Name the shared goal first, then the disagreement, then the smallest test to resolve it.

👉 Curious about the five real reasons people don’t act with common sense? I share them in my newsletter. [Join here].

Bringing the Two Articles Together: Preparedness × Simplicity × Authenticity

The Confidence Equation (what actually builds calm authority)

Preparedness (Earthquake lesson)

You can’t predict shocks, but you can practice responses. That practice creates a body memory of calm.

Simplicity (Common sense lesson)

You can’t control complexity, but you can choose the shortest honest path that solves the problem.

Authenticity (The glue)

Values make your behavior consistent under pressure. People trust consistency; trust looks and feels like confidence.

9-Step Action Plan to Gain Confidence at Work (Skimmable + practical)

Weekly rhythm

  1. Plan one drill. (Status summary, pitch, tough question.)
  2. Ship one simple deliverable. (One-pager > deck.)
  3. Keep one high-trust promise. (Name it Monday; deliver it Friday.)

Monthly rhythm

  1. Learn one upgrade skill. Put it to work immediately.
  2. Run one scenario rehearsal. Write the first action you’d take.
  3. Capture one proof point. Screenshot, metric, or testimonial.

Quarterly rhythm

  1. Values audit. Where did you act on your top three? Where did you drift?
  2. Relationship map refresh. Who depends on you? Who do you depend on? What clarity is missing?
  3. Confidence retrospective. What felt shaky? Which routine helped? What will you double down on?

FAQs

Frequently Asked Questions About Confidence, Authenticity, and Common Sense at Work

What’s the fastest way to gain confidence at work when I feel uncertain?

Start with visible progress: deliver one clear, simple output within 48 hours (a brief, a decision log, a prototype). Progress beats perfection for confidence.

How can I be true to myself without hurting my career?

Anchor tough messages in shared goals and kind candor: “I want us to win. Here’s what I see, here’s my concern, here’s a small test.”

What if my boss prefers complex solutions?

Offer both: “Here’s the simple path that gets us a result this week. If that fails, here’s the scaled approach.” Common sense first, complexity as a fallback.

I’m not naturally calm. Can I learn this?

Yes. Calm is a trainable output of routines: micro-drills, breathing pauses, clarity scripts, and values-based decisions.

Conclusion: Confidence = Readiness + Simplicity + Truth

Confidence doesn’t require guarantees. It requires designing for instability, choosing the simplest honest step, and acting from who you really are—especially when the ground moves.

  • Earthquakes teach us to prepare.
  • Common sense teaches us to keep it simple.
  • Authenticity keeps us steady.

Put them together and you’ll gain confidence at work, live authentically, and lead with clarity—no matter how often the landscape shifts.

Confidence is what happens when readiness meets simplicity and authenticity. No matter how much the landscape shifts, these three elements will keep you steady. Get more tools to build your confidence by joining the newsletter today.

Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

Feeling Stuck? Let’s Figure It Out Together.

Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Take a Small Step—Visit My Coaching Page Now.

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How to Gain Confidence at Work by Being True to Yourself

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Want to gain confidence at work without faking it or constantly second-guessing yourself?

Ever feel like you’re just trying to make it through the day at work—constantly questioning yourself, hoping no one realizes you’re not as confident as you seem? You’re not alone. Many of us go through the motions, feeling like we’re faking it, second-guessing every move, and quietly battling that persistent voice that says, “You’re not enough.”

This is imposter syndrome. And it’s one of the biggest silent blocks that holds us back—not just from promotions or recognition, but from inner peace and self-worth.

But what if the path to gain confidence at work isn’t about working harder, pushing more, or “fixing” yourself?

What if it begins with being true to yourself?

In this article, we’ll walk through how you can build deep, lasting confidence by reconnecting with your core values, honoring your true self, and choosing to live authentically, not just exist in survival mode.

Understanding the Hidden Confidence Crisis at Work

In today’s workplaces, it’s easy to believe we have to wear a mask to succeed. We’re often taught to suppress our real opinions, tone down our uniqueness, and “act professional” — whatever that means.

But in doing so, we disconnect from ourselves. And that disconnection slowly chips away at our confidence.

The Silent Cost of Not Being Your True Self, Not Being Authentic

When you’re not being your authentic self at work, you’re likely:

  • Constantly second-guessing your decisions even when you’re qualified. This leads to analysis paralysis and missed opportunities.
  • Avoiding risks: You play it safe to avoid potential failure, which also means you miss out on potential growth.
  • Feeling drained and unmotivated: Pretending to be someone you are not is exhausting and unsustainable.
  • Struggling to connect with colleagues: Authentic connections are built on trust and vulnerability, which are difficult to build when you’re wearing a mask.

Why Authenticity Is the Shortcut to Career Confidence

Let’s clear something up: Being authentic doesn’t mean being unfiltered or oversharing.
It means being aligned—your actions reflect your values, your decisions come from inner clarity, and you show up with self-respect.

When you choose to live authentically, you unlock a kind of confidence that isn’t shaken by performance reviews, team dynamics, or external praise.

Why Authenticity Builds Confidence

  • It’s your unique advantage: No one can be you better than you can. Your unique perspective and experiences are your greatest assets.
  • It attracts genuine connections: When you’re authentic, you attract people who value you for who you are, creating a strong support system.
  • It makes decision-making easier: When you’re clear on your values, you can make choices that are right for you, without agonizing over what others will think.
  • It builds resilience: When you’re grounded in your authentic self, you’re better able to handle setbacks and criticism without letting them derail you.

Click here to know more on how to boost self confidence with a coach, check this post.

5 Practical Ways to Gain Confidence at Work by Being True to Yourself

Ready to start your journey toward a more confident and authentic you? Here are five practical steps you can take today:

1. Reconnect with Your Core Values and Strengths

Visual metaphor for self-confidence at work: a relaxed person showing inherent confidence, not needing a megaphone.

To be true to yourself, you first have to know yourself.. Take some time for self-reflection to identify:

Ask:

  • Your core values: What matters most to me in life and at work? (e.g., integrity, creativity, collaboration, growth)
  • Your unique strengths: When do I feel more energized? What do I enjoy doing? (An assessment tool like CliftonStrengths can help with this).

Write them down. These are your anchor points. When your daily tasks align with your values, confidence grows naturally—because you’re not at war with yourself.

2. Interrupt the Inner Critic and Reframe the Negative Self-Talk

You know that voice in your head that says you’re not good enough? That you’ll mess it up, that you’re falling behind, that others have it all figured out?

That voice is lying.

But instead of trying to silence it—which rarely works—learn to interrupt it. Question it. Redirect it.

Let me share a real example.

My client Avi was stuck in a loop of self-doubt.

“I don’t think I can meet their expectations. I can’t go on like this.”

He sat in front of his computer, fidgeting with the keyboard, his focus shattered. The source? A spreadsheet.
One cell that wasn’t returning the correct numbers had spiraled into a full-blown confidence crisis.

Here’s the process we used together to break that pattern:

Step 1: Acknowledge the Negative Thought

When a negative thought shows up, pause and name it, without judgment.

For Sach, every thought kept circling around one belief: “The spreadsheet is wrong. I’m messing up. I’m failing.”

I gently asked him to take a breath and simply say:

“Okay. I see you. This is what I’m thinking right now.” That pause alone created space between him and the panic spiral.

Step 2: Question Its Validity

Is the thought actually true?

I asked him:

“Has this spreadsheet really failed before? How often?”
Turns out, it had gone wrong once—in months of working perfectly.

It wasn’t a pattern. It was a one-off. Yet the fear had taken over completely.

Step 3: Reframe It Realistically

We worked on replacing the panic-driven thought with a more grounded one.

Instead of: “I’m going to fail again,” He started trying: “I’ve done this successfully so many times before. One glitch doesn’t define my work. I know how to fix this.”

This was just one instance. Within a few sessions, Avi began to gain confidence at work again. His thinking shifted, his energy changed—and people noticed. His higher-ups started appreciating his calm presence, and now? He’s in their good books.

You can do this too.
Confidence doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from catching the stories we tell ourselves—and choosing better ones.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Confidence isn’t the absence of mistakes. It’s knowing you’ll be okay even when you mess up.

Self-compassion says:

  • “Yes, that was hard.”
  • “Yes, I stumbled.”
  • “And yes, I’m still worthy.”

You don’t have to be flawless to be confident. You just have to be kind to yourself through the ups and downs.

4. Define Your Authentic Personal Brand

An image showing a confident professional addressing the team and being authentic in his presence

Your personal brand isn’t a logo or a tagline—it’s how people experience you.

Ask:

What do I want people to remember about me?

What strengths do I bring without trying to be someone else?

Show up with intention. Speak with your voice, not the voice you think others want to hear. Be consistent. Be real. That’s your brand.

  • Be intentional about how you show up: This includes everything from your communication style to your professional attire.
  • Share your authentic voice: Don’t be afraid to express your opinions and ideas, even if they differ from others.
  • Highlight your unique contributions: What do you bring to the table that no one else can? Make sure your accomplishments are visible to others.

5. Surround Yourself with People Who Value the Real You

You don’t have to do this alone. Find people who encourage you to drop the mask, not reinforce it.

  • Find a mentor: A mentor can provide guidance, support, and a fresh perspective on your career.
  • Build a strong network: Connect with like-minded professionals who share your values and aspirations.
  • Consider working with a coach: A career coach can provide you with the tools, strategies, and accountability you need to build unshakable confidence and achieve your professional goals.

Authenticity isn’t a solo sport. Find your people.

Live Authentically, Lead Confidently

You don’t need to “fix” yourself to gain confidence at work.
You need to come home to yourself.

Because when you start being true to yourself, you stop chasing confidence—it becomes a byproduct of who you are.

This is how you live authentically, build a fulfilling career, and lead without losing your soul.

Ready to take the next step in your journey towards leading an authentic life at work? Book your free session today by contacting me, if you want to start this journey with me .

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This image shows a person confidently presenting in a meeting, with a subtle glow around them representing authenticity and self-belief.

ChatGPT will cause job loss? 6 easy ways to Manage Stress and Job Loss fear in this AI world

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Image depicting the AI explosion and its potential for job loss, mentioning key players like NVIDIA, DeepSeek, and ChatGPT.

In today’s rapidly evolving AI world, the question on everyone’s mind is: “Will ChatGPT cause job loss? It’s a valid concern that can lead to significant stress and job loss fear for many. This article isn’t just about identifying the challenges; it’s about empowering you. Discover 6 easy ways to manage these anxieties and navigate the future of work with confidence.

Change is everywhere, and in fast-moving industries like AI and semiconductors, it can feel overwhelming. One moment, Nvidia is launching groundbreaking AI chips; the next, China is making massive strides in AI development. The competition is fierce, the stakes are high, and uncertainty is part of the game. But here’s the good news—you can learn to navigate this world without losing your peace of mind.

Why Fast-Paced Industries Feel So Stressful

When industries evolve rapidly, pressure builds. Jobs change, skills become outdated, and global shifts—like trade restrictions between the U.S. and China—add layers of uncertainty. If you work in AI, tech, or semiconductors, you might feel:

  • Job Insecurity: AI is changing the way we work, and no one wants to be left behind.
  • Constant Learning Pressure: Keeping up with new technology feels like running on a treadmill that never stops.
  • Regulatory Uncertainty: Global politics and business restrictions make the future unclear.
  • Work-Life Struggles: High expectations and long hours can take a toll on mental health.

How to Stay Calm and Move Forward

Even in uncertain times, you can take control of how you respond. Here’s how:

1. Keep Learning, but at Your Own Pace

You don’t have to master everything overnight. Focus on learning what truly adds value to your career. Companies like Nvidia offer AI courses through their Deep Learning Institute—pick resources that work for you and move step by step.

There are hundreds of AI courses available online. Afterall, machines can’t run themselves. Use these courses to increase your productivity. People who are productive are never out of job.

2. Learn to Be In Demand

There are skills which are always in demand and there are skills which are now in boom. Keep learning, keep updating. Like any software, we also need to keep upgrading ourselves. If version 1.0 is outdated, let’s become 2.0.

Those in demand are always successful. And they know how to play their cards. Learn the game. A critical card is always in demand, learn to be that critical card

I work with my clients on learning their value, exploring their potential, which of course leads to creating the demand.

3. Embrace Change Instead of Fearing It

Think of change as an opportunity, not a threat. In China’s AI industry, companies quickly adapt to market shifts. The same mindset can help you stay ahead—be flexible, stay curious, and see new developments as doors opening, not closing.

It is all about the mindset. If you are open to developments, opportunities will come to you.

4. Build a Support Network

You’re not alone. Connect with colleagues, mentors, and industry peers. Whether you work at a tech giant like Nvidia or a fast-growing startup, having a circle of support makes challenges easier to handle.

I want to remind this again and again to everyone who needs support. You are not alone, period. There is help always available, just look for it with an open mindset.

5. Take Care of Yourself

No job is worth burnout. Take breaks, exercise, and create boundaries between work and personal life. Many companies are recognizing the importance of mental health—take advantage of wellness programs if they’re available.

When you are in a positive frame of mind, you can spot opportunities, which no one is seeing. When the whole world is crying about job loss, you can be someone grabbing the offer. Just believe in yourself.

6. Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t control trade wars or industry disruptions, but you can control your own growth, mindset, and career choices. Shift your focus to small, consistent actions that move you forward.

There are 2 options with you, cry about the fear of recession or mold yourself to the in-demand jobs. Which option do you choose?

Thriving in an Uncertain Future

The AI and semiconductor world will keep evolving, and that’s exciting! Nvidia will continue pushing AI boundaries, and China will keep making big AI moves. Who knows who else will join the race. The best way to succeed? Stay adaptable, keep learning, and protect your well-being. Stress and uncertainty don’t have to hold you back—you can use them to grow and thrive.

Hi, I’m a Career Development and Life Coach, and I’ve helped hundreds of professionals overcome fear, anxiety, and workplace stress to grow in their careers. If you’re looking for guidance to unlock your potential and thrive, feel free to reach out—I’d love to support you on your journey!

Want More? Stay connected for more insights on meditation and personal growth. Follow me on [Instagram] and [Facebook].

Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

Feeling Stuck? Let’s Figure It Out Together.

Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Take a Small Step—Visit My Coaching Page Now.

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7 Reasons Why We Celebrate New Year: For Hope, Memories, and Resolutions?

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Why we celebrate? Let’s be real: the New Year is one of those days where everyone suddenly becomes super optimistic. The gym memberships skyrocket, planners sell out, and we’re all convinced this is the year.

But for me, celebrating New Year isn’t just about resolutions (most of which I’ll forget by March, let’s be honest). Or partying all night (even though I always do it for new year). It’s about something deeper—and a lot more fun.

So, why do I celebrate New Year? Let me take you on a little journey.

Let’s go beyond the festivities. Delving into the psychology behind New Year celebrations in a simple way

1. Why Starting Fresh in the New Year Feels Magical

You know that feeling when you open a brand-new notebook? That crisp, clean page staring at you, full of possibilities? That’s what a new year feels like to me. It’s a chance to wipe the slate clean. A fresh start.

Why starting fresh on New Year feels transformative?

New Year traditions are not just fun—they tap into the psychology of fresh starts, giving us hope and energy for the year ahead. Psychologists call it the “fresh start effect.”

We all need one, don’t we? Life gets messy, and the New Year gives me that excuse to say, “Okay, last year might’ve been chaos, but this year? This year, I’ve got this.”

Wanna go deep into its psychology? You can check this article published in Psychology Today

2. How yearly milestones help me appreciate life.

I don’t know about you, but I remember life in years.

  • 2016: I visited the Himalayas and fell in love with their sheer majesty.
  • 2021: I coached my very first client—my best friend (who still thinks I was just “helping out,” but I count it!).

It’s almost like I’ve bookmarked my life by years. When I think about it, it’s easier to say, “Oh, that was my 2016 self!” rather than just vaguely remembering a random moment. The New Year celebration reminds me to look back and appreciate these milestones.

3. Hope Is My Favorite Emotion

A new year is full of possibilities. Anything can happen.

I don’t know about you, but that thought makes me giddy. There’s this excitement in the air, like something magical is just around the corner. Maybe this will be the year I try something totally unexpected, like skydiving (okay, maybe not that unexpected) or finally learning to bake the perfect cake(quite possible with my perfect cooking skills 😂).

And sure, it’s the time for big goals—like growing my coaching business or helping someone achieve their dreams. But it’s also about the little things. Like hoping I’ll finally wake up with the sun.

4. Childhood Nostalgia Is the Best

Ah, New Year’s Eve as a kid—those were the days!

My family would gather around the TV, waiting for midnight. Sometimes we’d play games in the new year party, sometimes we’d just eat snacks cosily and wait for the clock to strike 12. The excitement was well, exciting 😂.

Who would be the first to shout “Happy New Year”?

Why we celebrate new year? Childhood Nostalgia

Looking back, it wasn’t about the fireworks or the countdown; it was about being together, sharing that moment. Even now, as an adult, I try to recreate that magic in small ways. It’s a reminder of simpler, happier times.

My article on Life without festivals talks about these celebrations.

5. It’s a Time to Celebrate YOU

The New Year isn’t just about the fireworks or the resolutions or even the memories. It’s about celebrating you.

Take a moment and think about what you’ve done this past year. Maybe it wasn’t perfect (whose year is?), but you’ve grown, learned, and survived. That deserves a celebration!

So, this year, I’ll be grateful for all the little victories: the moments I laughed until I cried, the new clients I helped, and even the times I made it through a tough day.

6. What is The Psychology Behind New Year Resolutions

Ah, New Year’s resolutions—the tradition we love to hate. But hear me out: resolutions aren’t just cheesy cliches.

At their core, they reflect our deep-seated desire for self-improvement and control over our lives. When we set specific, achievable goals, we align with three key psychological needs:

  • Competence: Feeling capable and proud of our achievements.
  • Autonomy: Knowing we’re in charge of our own destiny.
  • Relatedness: Strengthening our bonds with others through shared goals.

Resolutions, when done right, aren’t just about ticking boxes—they’re about becoming the best version of yourself. And honestly, what better time to start than the New Year?

If you are still wondering about your new year resolutions, I have recently published an astrology based framework to set new year resolutions for a fun twist. Don’t forget to check that.

7. Marking Time Makes Life Meaningful

New Year’s is like a bookmark in the story of our lives. It reminds us to pause, reflect, and look ahead. Life can be chaotic, and having these temporal markers helps us make sense of it all.

It’s like taking a moment to breathe, to appreciate where you’ve been, and to dream about where you’re going.

Why Not Make New Year Celebrations a Tradition?

If you’re someone who doesn’t usually celebrate New Year, maybe this is your sign to start. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Light a candle, write down some goals, or just dance to your favorite song at midnight.

Life’s too short not to celebrate, don’t you think?

Here’s to 2025 & to why we celebrate 🎉

Here’s to fresh starts, cherished memories, and the hope of something amazing waiting for us in 2025. Happy New Year, my friend. Let’s make it unforgettable! 🎉

What are your New Year traditions or memories? Share them with me—I’d love to hear how you celebrate this beautiful, messy, hopeful life! 🌟

And if this is the year you decide to invest in yourself and your goals, I’d love to help you on that journey. As a life coach, I specialize in turning your hopes and dreams into actionable plans. Let’s make this year the start of something extraordinary! 🌟 Want to Know More about how I help? Click here.

7 Reasons Why We Celebrate New Year: For Hope, Memories, and Resolutions? Read More »

Fireworks lighting up the New Year sky. Why celebrate new year?

A Meaningful Twist to 2025 New Year Resolutions with Astrology

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Hurray! It is time for new year resolutions.

With the year closing up, many of us start reflecting on the past 12 months and planning our resolutions for 2025. But let’s face it: sticking to resolutions isn’t always easy. I’ve struggled with it myself. That’s why, this year, I decided to try something unconventional—a framework inspired by astrology.

Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. This isn’t about predictions or cosmic magic. It’s about using astrology as a creative tool to set and stick to meaningful goals. Sometimes, an unconventional approach can be surprisingly motivating.

Why Astrology?

Astrology, when viewed from a metaphorical lens, can offer insights into personal growth and opportunities. Right now, Saturn is transiting through Aquarius in Vedic astrology, and this transit provides the perfect inspiration for resolutions.

  • Saturn: The planet of discipline, structure, and perseverance.
  • Aquarius: The sign associated with innovation, networking, and humanitarian values.

Together, they create an energy that’s all about hard work, meaningful connections, and making a difference. Inspired by this, I’ve created three resolutions to carry me through the early months of 2025—right up until Saturn moves on to Pisces.

My 2025 Astrology-Inspired New Year Resolutions

1️⃣ A Networking Goal:
Get out of my work-from-home bubble and attend three networking events with like-minded individuals by April. Networking not only helps build professional connections but also fosters personal growth and confidence.

2️⃣ A Discipline and Technology Goal:
Dedicate 15 minutes daily to exploring AI tools. As technology continues to evolve, staying updated is crucial, and even small daily habits can create lasting expertise over time.

3️⃣ A Humanitarian Goal:
Spread awareness about workplace stress and mental health by sharing three posts per month. This resolution allows me to give back to the community while addressing issues that affect so many of us.

Making Resolutions Stick

The key to sticking with resolutions lies in making them SMART—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Bound. Here’s how I applied the SMART framework to mine:

  • Specific: Clear goals like attending 3 events or dedicating 15 minutes daily.
  • Measurable: Goals with defined numbers to track progress.
  • Achievable: Practical actions I can commit to.
  • Realistic: Goals that fit into my current lifestyle.
  • Time-Bound: A deadline of April keeps me focused and motivated.

Equally important is defining the “why” behind each resolution. Understanding your purpose helps you stay committed even when motivation wanes.

How to Create Your Astrology-Inspired New Year Resolutions

  1. Look to the Stars for Themes: Research the current astrological transits or traits and see how they align with your goals.
  2. Focus on Universal Themes: Even if you don’t believe in astrology, use its archetypes—like discipline, innovation, or humanitarianism—as inspiration.
  3. Set Practical Goals: Tie these themes to actionable steps, keeping them aligned with your personal growth and professional aspirations.

Here are 10 sample resolutions inspired by Saturn’s transit through Aquarius, reflecting its Vedic astrology significances:

1. Build Strong Networks

“I will expand my professional and personal network by attending at least one event or meetup every month.”

  • Why: Aquarius signifies networking and community building; Saturn emphasizes structure and discipline.

2. Master a New Technology

“I will dedicate 15 minutes daily to learning and implementing a new technology, such as AI tools, by April 2025.”

  • Why: Aquarius rules innovation and technology; Saturn’s discipline supports consistent effort.

3. Focus on Long-Term Goals

“I will create a 5-year career or life plan and start taking actionable steps toward it by dedicating an hour every week to planning and execution.”

  • Why: Saturn encourages long-term thinking, responsibility, and perseverance. Also Saturn represents career

4. Contribute to a Humanitarian Cause

“I will volunteer or support a community service initiative at least once every quarter.”

  • Why: Aquarius emphasizes humanitarianism; Saturn’s structure ensures commitment to a cause.

5. Prioritize Mental Discipline

“I will practice mindfulness or meditation for 10 minutes daily to strengthen my mental resilience.”

  • Why: Saturn governs discipline and introspection; Aquarius supports mental awareness and innovation in thought.

6. Adopt Sustainable Practices

“I will reduce my carbon footprint by switching to reusable items and minimizing waste by 30% this year.”

  • Why: Aquarius aligns with eco-consciousness; Saturn calls for responsibility and accountability.

7. Strengthen Community Bonds

“I will reconnect with old friends or colleagues by reaching out to one person every month.”

  • Why: Aquarius fosters relationships and social networks; Saturn values commitment and effort in relationships.

8. Upgrade Professional Skill

“I will enroll in an advanced course or training program to enhance my expertise in my field.”

  • Why: Saturn supports structured learning; Aquarius values intellectual growth and innovation.

9. Practice Financial Discipline

“I will create a detailed budget and savings plan to secure my financial future by setting aside at least 20% of my monthly income.”

  • Why: Saturn governs discipline and material security, supporting sustainable financial practices.

10. Advocate for Inclusivity

“I will use my platform to promote inclusivity and awareness by sharing at least one meaningful post or participating in discussions monthly.”

  • Why: Aquarius champions collective progress and inclusivity; Saturn emphasizes structure and impact in advocacy.

These resolutions blend Saturn’s themes of discipline, responsibility, and perseverance with Aquarius’ focus on innovation, community, and humanitarian efforts, making them meaningful and actionable for 2025. Saturn represents career, so these goals can also aim for professional growth.

What Are Your 2025 Resolutions?

Whether you’re an astrology enthusiast or a skeptic, this creative framework can add a fresh perspective to your goal-setting process. Remember, the goal isn’t to rely on predictions but to use astrology as a fun and motivating lens for self-improvement.

I’d love to hear your resolutions for 2025! Are you trying anything unconventional this year? Let’s share ideas and inspire each other as we step into a brand-new year.

Final Thoughts

Resolutions don’t have to be boring or burdensome. By blending creativity and structure, you can set goals that are not only achievable but also deeply meaningful. Here’s to a year of growth, connection, and innovation—Saturn in Aquarius style!

Transform Your Life in 2025

Setting meaningful resolutions is the first step toward personal and professional growth, but sticking to them takes effort, discipline, and support. If you’re ready to turn these resolutions into actionable goals and need guidance along the way, I’m here to help.

As a life coach, I specialize in helping individuals build sustainable habits, overcome challenges, and create fulfilling lives. Let’s work together to make 2025 your most impactful year yet.

✨ Book your free discovery session today to get started.

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How to fight depression naturally in 7 easy steps.

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Photo by Stefano Pollio on Unsplash

Depression has sadly become an epidemic on its own. Earlier, mental health concerns were swiped under the carpet, while fortunately today we have learned to acknowledge it and share with others. Acknowledging the problem in itself is the first successful step towards recovery. It is time to take the next steps by building a healthy environment around and inculcating healthy habits to fight depression.

It is easier to fight depression naturally without medication in the initial stages…

1. Depression can be cured. Just be regular with positive intake.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. This is not just about apples, but is about how a good thing done daily can help mitigate larger health concerns. Just like walking daily counters weight gain.

Nowadays, many authors are talking about the exponential benefits of daily activities. A dollar a day can save only 365 dollars but then it changes when there is compounding effect with interest. Similarly, a positive act a day or less of a negative activity a day has its own compounding effect in making life fuller.

You must be wondering, what does a positive act entail?

A positive quote a day, a benevolent act, a good book, an hour of comedy. Anything that makes you smile or laugh, just do it every day. Positive psychology, a branch of psychology deals with developing an optimistic view and shifting negative outlook, for a more flourishing life.

Considering that people are trustworthy in general, or good things can happen anytime, etc. helps a lot in managing negative thoughts. Looking at life in a positive way is a habit that one need to build.

Don’t underestimate this seemingly simple, zero cost habit, it can help save your life one day.

2. Change the ratio to fight the depressed thoughts

If till now you were being sad the whole day, make 30 mins of it funnier with your favorite comedy series. Spend an hour chatting with your best friend, after a bad exam. Play your favorite sport, after a fight with the boss.

Just change the ratio of fun to sad moments. It would be difficult at start, but first focus on 30 mins a day and gradually increase it. I make it a point, to do something I like when I am having a bad day. Even listening to my favorite song, tends to reverse my day.

Having a fun playlist and a dance sequence, a favorite dish/recipe and friends on fast dial. All these need to be in your toolkit for a rainy day. Prepare a list of things you enjoy, in fact preparing the list itself can be fun.

3. Be around good people and share it with others. Depression leads to loneliness.

There is a famous Hindi proverb – “Khushi baatne se badhti hai, aur dukh ghat ta hai” (happiness increases when shared, and sadness reduces). Try it, and you will know the efficacy of age-old adages. Yeah, Pluses and Minuses of maths work differently in real life.

Surrounding yourself with good people is a very important life skill. People think that we should be near more intelligent people or more rich people, but the truth is when you are near people with beautiful hearts, you learn the goodness in humanity.

Life seems more beautiful when you are around good people. And goodness does not even need to be shared, just being around makes you feel better.

4. Write about it. Journaling through grief and happiness helps.

Write a journal daily, about what you feel good about, bad about, your fears, worries.

When you write you cleanse the stuck emotions and let it flow again. Also, writing gives you a better perspective. Once you write down your thoughts, you can look at it with an outsider’s view. And thus, it gives you more clarity, sometimes makes us realise that the matter is not as serious as we make it to be.

The break-up may after all not be so bad.

Hmmm… that’s more of a bluff, just one write up will not make you see it, but a few will definitely help.

5. Engage in a hobby.

Any hobby be it painting, dancing, cooking, sculpting, star gazing, anything. Every hobby in the world has the power to get you out of depression.

When you do something with passion, with a continual focus, it is like meditation. And that is the science behind it. When you focus on something you like or you are good at, you have

1. replaced your sad thoughts during that moment,

and 2. you now know you are good at things.

A real boost for your self esteem. A good self esteem can help you walk confidently through the murky paths of sad incidents in life.

6. Hormones are linked to depression. Exercise daily to keep the positive hormones flowing.

Depression can be automatically taken care of with a healthy lifestyle, healthy diet and healthy body.

Even though exercise feels most unnatural during these times, it has the most immediate benefit. Just 15 mins of workout will make you feel euphoric. Even gentle exercises like yoga and tai chi helps.

It is scientifically proven that exercise stimulates your mind and releases positive chemicals called endorphins and reduces stress. Refer to the Harvard article here for more on ‘The exercise effect’ – Exercise is an all-natural treatment to fight depression

7. Take medication, if required.

When you fight depression for long but still not able to win over it, it is time for medication.

Anxiety or depression happens because there are too many or too less chemicals in your brain and they are out of control.

What do you do when your stomach has a similar problem, you treat it, right? First at home and if severe, then with a doctor.

It is so surprising that we invest so much in our skin and hair while giving the brain zero priority.

Don’t worry, medication is a temporary tool, it just helps you clear the mess created in your brain. And after the prescription time is over, the other tools will help you stay on track for a flourishing life.

p.s. Clinical depression need to be treated by a psychologist. If you are being overwhelmed by depressive thoughts or it is too long now since you are battling these thoughts, visit a professional. If someone can help you resolve this issue within a few days, why not solve it at the earliest.

Tackling the problems at the first stage before it gets bigger and unmanageable is the biggest hack of my Life coaching techniques. It is the simplest solution for a flourishing life, but surprisingly very few reckon with it. Hope this article serves as a reminder that solutions for big problems can be very simple.

Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

Feeling Stuck? Let’s Figure It Out Together.

Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Take a Small Step—Visit My Coaching Page Now.

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How I got rid of binge watching in 6 easy steps?

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binging
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Binge watching – Is it cool?

Yup, my crime is binge-watching. And I am, no, I was seriously addicted. First, Hollywood series and then Korean dramas took over my world. I don’t think I can ever say goodbye. After all, they have given me company during my hard, sad, or boring days. Made me feel excited, scared, and thrilled, feelings that don’t come by easily in my world. I love this world. But then I had the epiphany, this is not my world. It is all a fantasy, to escape for a few hours, a day, or maybe even a few days. Wake up guys, for a lifetime it doesn’t make sense. So yeah, I knew I needed to change this habit. What is the meaning of this life if we leave our own story, to be in someone else’s?

Or is it sad?

I have known many who would get so lost in their binge watching world that studies, career, family all go for a toss. It definitely is worse for singles. If you always stay in the dramaland, when will you level up your own life? All protagonists have wonderful lives cause the story is torn, crossed, and written up multiple times. Hero immediately realizes heroin is his destiny, of course he can, it is written in the plot. But how many of us are so sure of the prospects we meet? Until, we live the moments, make mistakes, correct them, we may not end up with the perfect story of our life. But for that, we need to meet people, and encounter adventures. Most importantly get up from bed. It dawned on me one fine day, I am the star of my story and can learn from others not live theirs.

So here it starts, my experiments to trick binge watching addiction.

1. Watch without forwarding.

I know it does not sound like a big deal. But hear me out, it works wonderfully. The episodes are designed in such a way that there are some high moments and some low moments, there are different characters and subplots. They all are there to give the story a more authentic touch. But many of us just skip through those moments, focusing on the main story. When you watch continually, after a certain time, you will feel like giving it a rest. This is counter addictive. Instead, when you watch only the high points, you will feel a high but this feeling crashes after a certain time. Evident from the listlessness felt after watching too many similar movies or series.

The most beautiful and intense stories, you will not feel like skipping a bit. All the award-winning series have this thing in common. An intense story with great acting that somehow transports you into their world, and you do not even want to skip the rustling of wind. These kind of stories are not addictive but powerful. You would want to watch it all but at a slower pace. It is always a good idea to see one of these every few days.

2. Don’t skip a single song, even the title tracks.

Song and music are a part of the drama and help in building the ambiance. The notes, the lyrics, all convey the right emotion and make you mesmerized. Again it is the same logic as before, when you are totally into that feeling, after a certain time, your mind gives you an alert to take a break. When you skip scenes and songs, that alert can easily be ignored. These tips also make you enjoy the series even more.

3. Discuss with your friends.

When you have a habit of discussing the story or dialogues with a friend, you tend to be more present at the moment, and you will watch carefully without skipping. After all, you need to recall the plot later on to discuss.

4. Watch without subtitles.

Subtitles are more addictive hence whenever possible watch something in your language. Every few days watch a series without subtitles.

5. Try a variety of genres.

When you watch everything similar, especially similar story themes, you will get more transported to the other world and more disconnected from reality.

6. You cannot stop at the end of the episode, dont even try

Series are built in such a way that every episoide builds towards the end, thus trying to end it there is futile. How many times has it happened that you decide to watch only 2 episodes, but by the end of 2nd episode there is so much suspense that you end up watching next and next. If you have decided for 2, then stop after a few mins in the 3rd episode. Thats the point where it is easiest to skip.

Bonus tip :

This one is the most important tip and works like a charm. After following this, I have not been able to watch more than an episode at a time. Where watching 7 to 8 episodes a day was common earlier, now I feel like watching an episode over 7 to 8 days.

And the magical technique is to get passionate about something, develop a hobby, become part of a group. When you interact with people with similar hobbies (I don’t mean drama fan club) or even develop a solitude hobby, you will be immersed in it. There is nothing better than life’s calling. May it be painting, reading, real drama clubs where you can learn acting, etc. A hobby is nourishing and is addictive too. But the difference is that a real hobby develops your body, mind and soul.

Binge watching – when in control.

I love writing, and when I committed to this blog, everything else took a backstage. Now while watching a drama, if I get a new idea I start writing about it leaving my drama midway. With the right friends and groups, I tend to enjoy so much that I even procrastinate with my episodes. I recently completed a drama in a month. While, my usual speed during my addictive days was a weekend.

So yeah, I am having a great time in my life, and I still watch kdramas, as they are fun. I never intend to stop them, but my life has now taken a priority and I would prefer a drama on my life story than watching and sighing over others. Three cheers to my own life story and yours too.

Hi, I am a Life Coach and Blogger. I find there are too many simple solutions for problems that are ruining our lives. Life is too beautiful, to let it be stuck. This blog is a step towards identifying simple life hacks and living to our full potential. If you like what I write, join me on social media for continual updates.

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Feeling monotonous? Transform your life right now with just 1 step

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Life Hacks Series.

I feel disappointed whenever I hear the phrase ‘life is monotonous’. Many complain that the same things happen to them every single day, even the frustrations and irritations are the same. The sad part is, even a fulfilled life can be poisoned by monotony.

Do you realise what you are missing?

It is not money, not power, but a passion. No, I don’t mean here the passion you felt for your first crush. Passion for life when every atom in your body feels alive. When you just feel blessed to be a human. Yes, the same feeling which has become elusive to our generation due to the mundane office-home-office lifestyle.

I unknowingly hit the jackpot, when I discovered my passions. I realized I feel passionate when I write for people, I feel passionate whenever I help someone live their life to the fullest. Fixing problems, finding out solutions, are my passions. I feel passionate when I’m immersed in a masterpiece of a book, movie, or series. Stories spellbound me. I now comprehend that magic is about becoming part of something beautiful, like a perfectly crafted movie. To explain in spiritual terms, all things have energy, when we watch something beautiful we become part of that beautiful energy, it starts flowing through us.

But books, movies, and series cannot sustain this kind of energy for long. The numerous options available online, make this rich energy scatter fast. Hence this also causes monotony after a time.

The best solution out there is to ignite a spark within. When you are on fire the whole world seems exciting. You wake up in the morning ecstatic. The whole day there is a bounce in your step, and a satisfied smile while sleeping.

Wow, how to ignite this spark?

Find something you really like to do, an activity that is meditative for you. It can be cooking, painting, strumming guitar, dancing, sometimes it is not even performing. Even appreciation of art can feel passionate, just like watching a movie. Just go a layer deep, learn the art to appreciate it. I always used to wonder, don’t people find paintings in museums boring? Surprisingly, it seems otherwise. To those who know the art, it lits them from within. When a connoisseur looks at a painting it is about the brush strokes, the color mixing, how a hue establishes a point. How sunset in different shades has a different meaning envisioned by the artist.

It is never a painting of a sunset, it is the story of a sunset. Those who know the rudiments of painting, feel the thrill in knowing how the artist layered his colors, how darkness represented light, the art and science of it are exhilarating.

It need not be painting for everyone. How when you start cooking as a hobby, you start noticing the chemistry between ingredients everytime you eat. It becomes a round-table conference on the deliciousness of the dish. Scientists never feel monotonous, for them, mathematics, physics… is their passion. Their perspective towards everyday things is different.

And that is what passion does to you, it changes your perspective. Life is already beautiful, you just need to experience it with the right perspective.

Masters in Literature is not required to appreciate great books. Just an hour a day is enough to learn the craft. Try taking this one step and see the big difference it brings. And if you’re a couple, try finding a common passion.

Find your passion, and live a beautiful life from today itself.

What passion are you planning to explore? Sometimes sharing also ignites the passion, so feel free to share in the comment section.

Hi, I am a Life Coach and Blogger. I feel passionate about my work and like sharing it with others. Life is too beautiful, to let it get boring, so enjoy and live it well. Feel free to join my community on social media to be a part of this journey towards self-empowerment and growth.

Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

Feeling Stuck? Let’s Figure It Out Together.

Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

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I Am A Lazy Bum, Will I Never Learn New Skills? Will I Continue To Be Dumb?

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Life Hack Series.

a lazy cute dog
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Yes, I am confessing my shortcomings today, I am a lazy bum and I get horrifyingly jealous of the Facebook photographers. Not only have I learned that photography is super technical, but it needs patience as well. One may assume that lazy people would be more patient, but sadly laziness and patience do not gel well. And hence this jealousy. 😐 I am sure you are not here to learn photography skills, however, if you stay, I can give you a sound tip on how to learn it.

What is the way out?

Did you notice every post in this series combines a useful and entertaining skill? The essence is to balance them. This is also the key to a productive daily schedule, otherwise, we will end up entertaining at our own cost. When we include an invigorating activity, our plan for the day gets more tempting. And that’s the secret.

The confession.

I had Lynda.com free access, and of course Course era, but don’t remember ever completing a full course there. Started many, dragged through a few, and ended up none. Isn’t that a usual cribbing point? Despite the innumerable free resources available online, we tend to let the chance pass. One fine day I will. 😎

In our intensely competitive world, we need multiple talents to thrive. However, laziness, procrastination, and lack of motivation multiply the problem. Even when we try to overcome these, we trudge for a week or so and then give up. Forget the famous 40 days rule, even a week is monumental.

My solution as a lazy bum.

Use one weakness to counter another. For example, I am blessed with ‘curiosity killed the cat’ syndrome. No wonder, I have got my fingers in every pie. Fortunately, I realize this and I use this sticky trait of mine to form a lesson sandwich. Whenever I continue with a topic and lose interest within a month, I initiate a fresh one and get enchanted with the newness of it. Always packaging it in a fresh way, looking for interesting angles, is the other key. One week I’ll be reading material on Virus and Immunity, next it is the turn of photography, then Interior Design, and then a few interspersed days of Sci-Fi related Physics theories.

You got it right, naturally, I’ll learn nothing by reading all kinds of topics. It is just me whetting my curiosity. But did you deduce by now? This is where my lesson sandwich comes into picture. When I repeat my Photography lessons every alternate month, I at least become a jack of one trade. Agreed, mastery is yet too far but the months and years go on, no?

This idea of a lesson sandwich, between enticing activities, is for someone like me. Continuing at one topic for eternity, hmm, not my cup of tea. Yes, I do waste a lot of time this way, but better than staying dumb forever. If you have already tried this with no results, try it again. The trick is to cut the cake in a delicious way, the right amount of frosting to offset the dryness of crumbs. Balancing entertainment with eruditeness. Take care of the ratios, though. 😃 May be a month of dancing can offset a week of HTML mark up language. It all depends on you.

Guess what, photography is not that interesting when it comes to learning aperture and shutter speed. So instead of considering it an entertaining skill, pair it up with one. Understanding which is entertaining and which is not can be tricky at times.

We should focus on one thing at a time, we should form habits, we should prioritize important things… blah blah blah. I agree. But to even reach that level, some extraish ordinary people like me face hurdles. Sorry! but not everyone is born with monk-like steadiness. Thus, tricking the mind is the go-to tool, whenever I need to learn or unlearn something.

If you are too lazy to even start something, then another article is coming soon for you.

Let me know in the comment section, what is that one weakness of yours which you use to counter another.

Hi, I am a life coach and simple tips like these are a part of my arsenal. There are 100s of fixes for every problem, the art is in knowing what goes where. Isn’t that also the difference between knowledge and wisdom? I guess learning this difference is my lifelong dharma. I am passionate about improving people’s lives through coaching or blogging. Feel free to connect with me.

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Long Distance Friendships: How to be close despite distances?

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Life Hack Series.

Long distance cities
Photo by Bruno Wolff on Unsplash

We have never been isolated like this before, courtesy pandemic. All our friendships have gone long distance. But it is not just pandemic, we have always been leaving behind our close friends, be it school, college, or an old job. Continuing with the same set of friends throughout life has always been tough. Social Media has definitely been a miracle in finding long-lost friends. But have you ever felt, like me, that the relationships have not remained the same? There is something lacking, it is no more as free and easy as before, feels a bit forceful.

We all have friends, now distant, may be over neighborhoods, cities, or even countries. And we all know how assured and protected a group of friends can make us feel. Needed now much more than ever before, I decided to not let the distances stop me.

My friends are over different time zones and we try hard to manage through Whatsapp groups. But for some reason, I feel a strange disconnect with forwarded messages. Whatsapp is ok for a group of not-so-close friends when you need to share not-so-personal messages. For personal thoughts it seems too trivial to type and send, this is how we end up being friends over unrelated stuff. For bonding we need heartfelt discussions, a passionate argument on a match lost or a cribbing contest over bad bosses. When we are closer, it all flows naturally without any extra effort. This flow of feelings is exactly how a bunch of people come together and become friends in the first place. I decided to modify this same technique to suit our group chats by experimenting with common passions, like in this instance – music.

I and my friends have started sharing songs. It is a great way to continue bonding. We share only songs that we like or suddenly remember, sometimes 2 or 3 a day. Many of them are nostalgic and this makes us share a piece of our mind. It is like sharing your cached memories. Many a time after listening to a song we even start some random discussion. Being in touch, no more feels forceful. As music is a part of our daily life, many old song-linked instances keep swarming in my mind and it feels good to share and reminisce together.

I won’t suggest this idea with large groups as then there will be too many songs and noone will be able to watch and comment on all. Even for small groups of 3 or 4, first couple of days there will be too many songs. But over the week it will trickle down to just the right number for our busy schedule. Try it yourself and see… if not music then sports talk, or books or daily episodes. Just like a forum, but little more involved, with little more feelings. The trick is to leave it trickling always.

Hi, I am a life coach and I believe in simple tips to life’s many problems. Relationships can be cherished with these simple tips, not much is needed. I am passionate about working out small changes to manifest bigger miracles and share the same through coaching or blogging. Feel free to connect with me.

Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

Feeling Stuck? Let’s Figure It Out Together.

Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Take a Small Step—Visit My Coaching Page Now.

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Feeling isolated due to Covid? There are more ways to have fun

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Life Hacks Series.

cooking can be fun too
Photo by Taylor Kiser on Unsplash

The earlier post on feeling lonely & isolated was about laughter and learning. Having fun is scientific, it is about increasing our dopamine levels. This post is about increasing dopamine by being passionate and learning new things. Tricking our minds is a sure shot way to that elusive happiness.

Identify what you are passionate about.

Motivation levels are low and laziness levels at an all-time high? Identify things you are really passionate about or can get immediate gratification from. And once you do, even lockdowns will not slow youdown.

Let’s take cooking as an example. During the pandemic, we were craving for our favorite dishes but unable to order them. The luxury of restaurants was not available. Even the ingredients were not there. Wasn’t that the best time to search for new recipes and try them? Isn’t this often the case, craving for home-cooked food. I have always believed that no one can be a bad cook. Either follow the recipe fully or use ingredients intuitively (if you have a natural talent for it). If you focus on the food you are preparing instead of the mobile, it will surely be yummy. Just need to know a few tips and tricks. First-timers just need to start with lesser quantities and not too much experimenting with the ingredients (advice from a scapegoat, who had to eat too many cakes gone wrong 😒)

Now time for what is essential…

Cooking is done, what is now the other most essential thing? Many people do not realize this but the most satisfactory job in the world is cleaning. Absurd, but true. Try it out now, take a small area – even one rack in your wardrobe is sufficient, and then clean it fully. It will automatically enhance your mood. Seems Unbelievable? But I can bet on its impact.

Just don’t overdo it. Your pains should not be more than your gains. Basic maths, right? Just try it with your favorite music on and see the difference. Make sure you start with a small goal. I assure you, you will love it.

Cleaning when becomes a daily routine seems obnoxious, but once a week chores always help. For the daily routine jobs let’s discuss some other time. For now… enjoy finding your passions.

Hi, I am a life coach and I believe in simple tips to life’s many problems. Finding your passion is the magic mantra for every trouble. Don’t believe it? Try and let me know. I am passionate about working out small changes to manifest bigger miracles and share the same through coaching or blogging. Feel free to connect with me.

Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

Feeling Stuck? Let’s Figure It Out Together.

Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Take a Small Step—Visit My Coaching Page Now.

Tags: Feeling lonely & isolated? other ways to have fun

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fun habits-cooking can be fun too

Feeling isolated due to covid? You better have some fun

Leave a Comment / Life hacks: Just one step can transform life /

Life Hack Series.

hitchhiking when alone
Photo by Atlas Green on Unsplash

Let’s talk today about the magic of ‘living with yourself’. All you people feeling lonely and isolated living alone or even while living with people around, I assure you it can be a super fun time. All you need is just to change your perspective. I have never understood how people get bored living alone, may be they haven’t yet learned the art of living alone.

During the lockdown, it was a very common rant of my friends. I am getting bored with this lockdown, what should I do? Hmmm, let’s see what are the magical options available.

Wow, I am rewatching the friends’ episodes. Every time I watch it, I laugh at the same pitch, at the same jokes. All the episodes are still as funny as the first time. Yes, you know the story. Yes, you know the jokes. But still the build-up delivers beautifully.

For many, it is not easy to laugh alone. But why do you need someone else to laugh with? You found something funny and you laugh, isn’t that a very logical thing to do? You should immediately get out of that self-restricting mindset of when and how to laugh. This one small change will lead to the epiphany – life is fun every moment. It is not about ‘Friends’ anymore.

Still lonely & isolated? Let’s move ahead.

I want to learn astrology but I have reached a roadblock, so for an hour everyday I watch any astrology related youtube video. Well, I may not be learning anything exactly but it is all getting into my mind. And when I sleep the junk in my mind is sorting itself out. This is another scientifically proven way of learning. I may still not be learning a lot as I am not being diligent and studying it systematically. Instead I am grasping a lot and letting myself immerse into the topic. Every few days there automatically comes a time when for an hour or so, I learn in a proper manner by writing it down and practicing it.

If you really like to learn something it is better to listen to the topic continuously. There comes a moment always when your procrastination and laziness give up. Saying from experience….It is not about astrology anymore.

I am not asking you to watch Friends or learn astrology. I am instead suggesting you watch something that makes you laugh every day and find a way to learn your favorite topic even if you are a lazy bum.

Try it and let me know at what phase of fun you are now. Part 2 of this series includes some more pointers for having fun.

I believe in simple tips to life’s many problems. Having fun is just about changing one’s perspective, and it has nothing to be with being alone. I know this because I am a Life Coach and have witnessed it many times. As a Life Coach and a Blogger, I am passionate about working out small changes to manifest bigger miracles and share the same with others. Feel free to connect with me.

Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

Feeling Stuck? Let’s Figure It Out Together.

Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Take a Small Step—Visit My Coaching Page Now.

Tags: Feeling lonely & isolated? what are the other ways to have fun?

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when you are feeling isolated, look for an adventure

Self Love – The most misunderstood word

Leave a Comment / Law of Attraction, Life hacks: Just one step can transform life /

Self-love is a term that’s often misunderstood. Many people question its true meaning:

  • Is self-love about taking revenge if someone wronged you?
  • Is it about getting what you want, even if you steal it from someone else?
  • Is it about being selfish and not caring about others?
  • Is it about being self-obsessed?

The answer to all these questions is a resounding NO. Self-love is about valuing yourself, but not at the cost of others. It’s about understanding your worth and not settling for less than you deserve. It’s about setting boundaries and not allowing others to take advantage of you. It’s about taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical health.

Self-love is not about being selfish; it’s about self-respect. It’s not about being self-obsessed; it’s about self-awareness. It’s not about taking revenge; it’s about letting go of toxic people and situations. It’s not about getting what you want at any cost; it’s about working hard and earning it.

In today’s world, self-love is often portrayed as indulging in luxuries or putting oneself above others. However, true self-love is about balance. It’s about knowing when to say no and when to say yes. It’s about understanding that you cannot pour from an empty cup; you need to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others.

So, the next time someone tells you that self-love is selfish, remember that it’s the most misunderstood word. Embrace self-love, not as a luxury, but as a necessity. Because when you love yourself, you set the standard for how others should love you.

For more insights on personal growth and self-empowerment, you might find our article on Vipassana Meditation helpful.

Self-Love: The Most Misunderstood Word

In today’s fast-paced world, the term “self-love” is frequently mentioned, yet often misunderstood. Many equate self-love with selfishness or vanity, but in reality, it’s about recognizing one’s worth and treating oneself with kindness and respect.

Common Misconceptions About Self-Love

Self-Love Equals Selfishness

A prevalent myth is that practicing self-love means being self-centered. However, genuine self-love involves understanding and accepting oneself, which in turn enhances our ability to connect with and support others.

Self-Love Is About Perfection

Many believe that to love oneself, one must be flawless. On the contrary, self-love is about embracing imperfections and acknowledging that making mistakes is part of the human experience. Healthline emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to make mistakes as a step toward achieving total self-love.

Self-Love Means Being Alone

Some think that self-love requires isolation. While spending time alone can be beneficial, self-love also encompasses building meaningful relationships and seeking support when needed. Psych Central highlights that self-love involves treating yourself with the same empathetic love and kindness you would offer to someone close to you.

The True Essence of Self-Love

At its core, self-love is about:

  • Self-Acceptance: Embracing who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Self-Compassion: Being kind to yourself, especially during times of failure or hardship.
  • Setting Boundaries: Recognizing your limits and ensuring others respect them.
  • Prioritizing Well-Being: Engaging in activities that promote mental, emotional, and physical health.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Self-Love

when you make yourself a priority, you learn true self love

Practice Mindfulness

Engage in activities like meditation or journaling to become more attuned to your thoughts and feelings.

Affirmations

Regularly remind yourself of your worth and capabilities.

Seek Professional Support

If needed, consult with a therapist or counselor to work through challenges and build a healthier relationship with yourself.

By understanding and embracing the true meaning of self-love, we can lead more fulfilling lives and foster deeper connections with others.

Want More? Stay connected for more insights on meditation and personal growth. Follow me on [Instagram] and [Facebook].

Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

Feeling Stuck? Let’s Figure It Out Together.

Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Take a Small Step—Visit My Coaching Page Now.

Self Love – The most misunderstood word Read More »

when you learn to self love, you attract real love from around you

A poem a day, to make you self empowered

Leave a Comment / Life hacks: Just one step can transform life /

A poem on the beauty of being simple.

This poem is for those who want to embrace their difference. Those who want to be proud of themselves no matter how they look, and who understand that we are not factory products to look all alike. This poem is about beauty, as denoted in the eyes of a young girl.

O girl of everyone’s dreams. Do you know, they said – I should be your likeness, have that perfect smile of Your Highness, or that posture like eucalyptus trees? Should have been born with those eyes doe-like, or that color bargained from a fluffy cloud, & be like your beauty, ever wrapped in youthful shroud… Alas! alas! you are not the one I want to be like. I am happy for not being your image, for not being the enchanting replica, or being one of many exotica. I am instead proud for a different, even if a simple visage. I would rather have eyes capturing every nuance of feeling, a smile always childlike, never perfect. Even a posture known for its bouncing joy, not for being erect. Oh God! I am just glad to be Simple!
Poem – Glad to be Simple!

A poem on getting addicted to life itself instead of the shorteners to life. Try getting addicted to life and see how it makes a difference from surviving to thriving.

I am addicted and I’ll be to the froth in wine, to the speed of time, to the passion of game, to the lively names. I am addicted and I’ll be to the whirls of smoke, to moments when broke, to run for the prize, to measuring to others’ size. I am addicted but when’ll I be to the bubbling joy in the moment, to the miracles in God’s movement, to the enrapturing beauty of lives, and to moments when God high-fives..
Poem – I am addicted

This is not exactly a poem but just a rhythmic way of expressing an idea of how to change your world by just taking a stand. Many a time, we ignore small things and let them manifest as bigger obstacles later on. Won’t a firm stand at that first wrong step make a difference?

How difficult can it be, to just take a stand?

When your child comes out running with his friend’s pencil, calling it his own. Take a stand.
Your spouse breaks the traffic signal when no one is watching. Take a stand.
Your friend thinks it’s fun to eat unpaid chocolate in a supermarket. Take a stand.
Your employee steals his colleague’s client. Take a stand.
Your son decides to call a woman a bitch. Just ….Because on these subtle issues when all you take, is a stand.

Then,

Your child will not be a con artist but will steer towards a way where great people stand.
Your spouse will not cheat with extramarital, but will always be there with you to understand. 
Your friend will never betray your trust, instead, there won’t be hardships your friendship can’t withstand.
Your employee will not embezzle. And loyalty – he will not misunderstand. 
Your son will never be a rapist on the stand.

Did you ever realize that one correction at the right time can build a character in front of which, world kneels when you stand?

Hence never forget to take a stand.

A poem for those who feel that no one understands them. If you are one of these people, try to find a community where you can find like-minded people and see the difference it makes to your life.

We all have people around us who don’t understand us, but why are we stuck with them. Let’s instead find our own community, our own group, and enjoy our collective thoughts and ideas. For me enjoying my precious life has always been a priority. Giving up on it just because I don’t know understanding people is definitely not an option.

Do they understand me at all?

Do they listen to what I say?
Or is it what they think I say?
Maybe they do, maybe they don’t,
I think no one understands me, at all.

They all meet and look through me
or maybe they are really looking at me.
Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t,
I always think no one understands me, not at all

I write, I sing, I dance, I paint
Wow! they say. Is the bow a feint?
Maybe, maybe not.
They don’t, I think, don’t understand me at all.

I asked them to repeat what I said,
jumbling the words to another way they led.
Yes, they did, no they did not.
& then they said,’ you didn’t understand, at all. ‘

This one is my favorite poem, and yeah, this poem wrote itself. Let me know in the comments if you like it too. This is how I look at life, one weaving itself with just a little effort from us. If we let the precious moments in life expand on their own, life will surely turn out to be magical.

It’s a beautiful poem if u wanna read it again and every time u read it, u feel its not the same. Tell me it’s beautiful when words are signs, and sense unravels itself through invisible lines. Don’t tell me it’s good if there is only rhyme, if it feels good to the ear or coarse as in mime. I wish to pen a poem which will tell its next line, which will weave itself as melody, in its own time. Then you call it a beauty which will make it proud as it has tried on its own to be subtle while being loud.
Poetry being born

This poem is about the fears that we all have inside us, and the inherent need to face those fears. How every day, we struggle between our fears and the urge to overcome them.

Don’t Wake Me!

Don’t wake me as I haven’t yet slept. How can I, when I am still fighting the webs, the tentacles of realism?

Don’t wake me as I haven’t yet touched surreal. How can I, when I swim away from the flow, drowning at the shore?

Don’t wake me as I haven’t yet immersed. How can I, when I scan over the faces, running away from depths?

Don’t wake me as I haven’t fallen yet. How can I, when I shy away from danger, after flirting with death?

Why do I still want you to wake me, touch surreal, immerse deep? Even when I don’t dare fall asleep.

A poem on healing your heart. Let me know in the comments section if you were able to heal your heart, the way I did.

My heart was about to die, was ailing. So I decided to look for it and heed to its failing. It asked me to cry for all the pain, and to hug all that came my way. But I did that! It asked me to jump and dance on the beat of raindrops, to enjoy the swaying of trees every time I drive. I did that! It asked me to soar for the hidden joy in each day, to tune to wisdom of those who listen to their heart. I did that! My heart was singing, soaring with joy one day. I was surprised to know, that to my dying heart, I DID THAT!
Poem – Healing my ailing heart

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Interesting ways to handle anger, I learned, by respecting it

1 Comment / Life hacks: Just one step can transform life, You are the society. Change starts with you /
Why Anger Is Not Always Bad, learn in this article

Anger is intense energy. Ask someone who loses control under its power. In fact, the true power of anger can be estimated with its symptoms itself. The body starts shaking, while the mind is depleted of all thoughts except the topic under discussion. For this kind of laser-sharp focus, I have been futilely trying meditation. The power that anger gives me, the omnipotent feeling, meditation is not able to yet 😀.

Anger can also be a signage signaling – “It’s time for a change”. Change your attitude or the situation or learn to handle the situation in a fruitful way. Do you remember, anger is what brought on the major revolutions in history? Strange, but have you ever realized that anger is a sure-shot way for your body to tell you, what you don’t like. And thus, it can make things crystal clear and help in deep realizations. Also, unlike Sadness, depression, irritation, or frustration, anger is the only negative emotion that results in action.

But the problem with anger is:

  1. The energy thus derived is not sustainable for long.
  2. We do not control this energy, the energy controls us. And that is exactly the danger – you cannot control it.

Hence the need for anger management. Managing anger is not about suppressing it, or otherwise shouting insensibly. It is about knowing when to suppress and when to vent out. Anger is like a flooded river, while anger management is like the dam built on the river. To control the volume of water that can be safely released. 

What I used to do, whenever I got angry

  • Become mute. Because our mind is at its sharpest when angry. It can also come out with the most harmful statements during this time. Intelligent – yes, but really harmful.
  • Walk out of the situation. It can seem arrogant at times, but it’s seriously better to not say at this so called – opportune moment 😀 (however wrong, abusing someone can feel heavenly for that moment).
  • Sometimes when I am really out of control and can’t adhere to any of the above, I just utter short and few sentences. The more you talk, the more crap you are gonna come out with.

Frankly, it all revolves around me saying nothing 😀 and yeah, it is a Band-Aid solution.

What I have learnt over time.

The best solution is to state the concern in a dignified way and clarify your limits or what is acceptable and what is not.

But when people involved, respond to only shouting language, then I communicate in the same or just walk away. I gauge my response as per the people involved.

Sometimes, venting out anger can be beneficial in healthy doses. We may get crushed by others if we do not learn to stand up when required.

There is also this second kind of scenario where my opponent is angrier than me. That is my favorite situation, as then I get full control over my anger. My mind starts to think about what is the best thing I can say without encountering permanent damage, and end up delivering the last word 😎

In Hindu mythology, Shiva and Shakti both are known for intense anger and their dance thereupon, which is a practical solution as exercise and creativity can together vent out the intense energy and help it cool down. This is also a solution for – we mortals, in fact whenever I exercise I feel better. Meditation is for the long term but immediate relief is achieved only through exercise.

I confess I am still learning my way with anger management and I get disastrous results many times but honing anger management is better than blunting anger. I don’t believe in suppressing anger.

The only point I make sure to remember is, not take any kind of decisions when angry. Wait till you can make a joke of the situation and then decide on the matter.

Angry with boss? Go home and hit a punching bag. Angry with traffic? listen to your favorite song – it may be the only time you get to relax. Angry with the world? time to change yourself, I guess. 😀

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Why Anger Is Not Always Bad, learn in this article

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