Author name: Shail

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Mahatma Gandhi’s Autobiography, Does it make sense to our generation?

Leave a Comment / Books on my shelf /

“The Story of My Experiments with Truth” by Mahatma Gandhi is definitely not a literary piece. There is no flow in the thoughts, no beauty of the prose, and is too long for our generation. But isn’t it how life is – up and down, sometimes not making any sense especially when it is interrupted by a new thought. And long when every moment is significant.

All Indians are taught of Gandhi since childhood, which may be one of the reasons why today’s generation is not so keen on reading about him. But with so many great people like Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr singing his praises, I thought it’s time to give his autobiography, a try. 

Well, in short, it is about truth, as is evident from the name. It seems truthful of him, at least. No self-boasting or hiding information, just truthful, sometimes abashedly so. It is all his thoughts in his own words, and thus paints a vivid picture of him, his personality.

How ordinary becomes extraordinary.

So who was Gandhi, apart from the man leading India’s freedom struggle, and how did he become a Mahatma? What is the face behind the Mahatma? This book explains it all and in a much better way than the school textbooks. In fact, I am totally surprised by this book, the one thing that struck me most was how ordinary he seemed to be. The way he represented himself is exactly how we all think of ourselves. There was just one thing extraordinary about him that he was a man of determination. This one trait led him to paths, that ordinary people do not traverse. We all adjust and compromise and that is how we remain ordinary.

According to him he was not even a good barrister, not a great husband, and has been on the right path only cause of luck or God. It seems with just one virtue, his fetish for truth, he catapulted to the wall of fame.

There is a strange humility in his work, even the name of the book is humble – it is not his belief in truth but experiments. The weaknesses that he represented about himself, none of us will ever even say aloud. Who will agree to be a nervous wreck, enough to lose his first case disastrously?

This story is about how he overcame all his weaknesses and got full control over his mind. 

He seemed to be a man of extremes with every quality to an extent that can not be easily tolerated. Truthfulness that can never be practical. Stubborn to a fault. Hellbent on nursing people. In fact, he was always looking out for someone to nurse, as it made him happy. A stickler for cleanliness especially in communities. Whatever he did – he did to the extreme, taught to the extreme. I do not believe in extremes, but the truth is extreme people can only bring in revolutions and huge transformations.

Like our generation today, he would read of all religions and then follow whatever he likes. No wonder he got killed for such thoughts. It was a radical world then. Again the important point in his case is, he would follow the goodness from each religion. Don’t you think, if we follow even 5 good principles of any religion, we can become great humans? Alas! even that is a challenging task for us.

He may have started ordinary but by sticking to few fundamental principles of spirituality he became extraordinary.

What can our generation learn from him?

What I like about any book is what I take from it. In our daily life, we do not need to enter the political field or transform large associations. He started slow, it was a letter at a time to the relevant authorities. Even common people like us can accomplish such things. We may be ignored, or not. The idea is to persist. I have never been in favor of a violent protest but his path of silent protests has a ringing spiritual essence. Have you ever noticed, it is tough to ignore a persistent person? Fortunately, in our world of Customer Cares, e-mails, and Twitter, it is a lot easy to be persistent.

The other interesting point I learned from him is – when making a stand if you do not come across as a savage, it helps. The power of polite society as shown by Gandhi & Mandela is humongous. The more decent you are, the more numbers of society will follow you, and the more followers the more the immensity of its impact.

My favorite part of the book is the part in South Africa as till then he was a nobody, like billions of us. It was that threshold point, till where we can easily follow him.

A short book review

This book was not about self-aggrandizement, like other autobiographies. He defined his image as he sees in the mirror. Nothing more, nothing less. And of course, there are many lessons to learn here. I won’t call this an irresistible page-turner and it is definitely too lengthy, but for those who want to learn from great minds and who want to be inspired in life, this book is a must. And a great mind he definitely had.

Read it the way I do, a few pages a day, and get inspired.

I have done my own experiments with truth, which made me realize that truth gives us internal peace and spiritual power. You can also let me know in the comments if you have are interested to experiment with truth and non-violence. And what is that first step you would like to take on this journey?

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Review on Experiments with Truth by Mahatma Gandhi

A poem a day, to make you self empowered

Leave a Comment / Life hacks: Just one step can transform life /

A poem on the beauty of being simple.

This poem is for those who want to embrace their difference. Those who want to be proud of themselves no matter how they look, and who understand that we are not factory products to look all alike. This poem is about beauty, as denoted in the eyes of a young girl.

O girl of everyone’s dreams. Do you know, they said – I should be your likeness, have that perfect smile of Your Highness, or that posture like eucalyptus trees? Should have been born with those eyes doe-like, or that color bargained from a fluffy cloud, & be like your beauty, ever wrapped in youthful shroud… Alas! alas! you are not the one I want to be like. I am happy for not being your image, for not being the enchanting replica, or being one of many exotica. I am instead proud for a different, even if a simple visage. I would rather have eyes capturing every nuance of feeling, a smile always childlike, never perfect. Even a posture known for its bouncing joy, not for being erect. Oh God! I am just glad to be Simple!
Poem – Glad to be Simple!

A poem on getting addicted to life itself instead of the shorteners to life. Try getting addicted to life and see how it makes a difference from surviving to thriving.

I am addicted and I’ll be to the froth in wine, to the speed of time, to the passion of game, to the lively names. I am addicted and I’ll be to the whirls of smoke, to moments when broke, to run for the prize, to measuring to others’ size. I am addicted but when’ll I be to the bubbling joy in the moment, to the miracles in God’s movement, to the enrapturing beauty of lives, and to moments when God high-fives..
Poem – I am addicted

This is not exactly a poem but just a rhythmic way of expressing an idea of how to change your world by just taking a stand. Many a time, we ignore small things and let them manifest as bigger obstacles later on. Won’t a firm stand at that first wrong step make a difference?

How difficult can it be, to just take a stand?

When your child comes out running with his friend’s pencil, calling it his own. Take a stand.
Your spouse breaks the traffic signal when no one is watching. Take a stand.
Your friend thinks it’s fun to eat unpaid chocolate in a supermarket. Take a stand.
Your employee steals his colleague’s client. Take a stand.
Your son decides to call a woman a bitch. Just ….Because on these subtle issues when all you take, is a stand.

Then,

Your child will not be a con artist but will steer towards a way where great people stand.
Your spouse will not cheat with extramarital, but will always be there with you to understand. 
Your friend will never betray your trust, instead, there won’t be hardships your friendship can’t withstand.
Your employee will not embezzle. And loyalty – he will not misunderstand. 
Your son will never be a rapist on the stand.

Did you ever realize that one correction at the right time can build a character in front of which, world kneels when you stand?

Hence never forget to take a stand.

A poem for those who feel that no one understands them. If you are one of these people, try to find a community where you can find like-minded people and see the difference it makes to your life.

We all have people around us who don’t understand us, but why are we stuck with them. Let’s instead find our own community, our own group, and enjoy our collective thoughts and ideas. For me enjoying my precious life has always been a priority. Giving up on it just because I don’t know understanding people is definitely not an option.

Do they understand me at all?

Do they listen to what I say?
Or is it what they think I say?
Maybe they do, maybe they don’t,
I think no one understands me, at all.

They all meet and look through me
or maybe they are really looking at me.
Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t,
I always think no one understands me, not at all

I write, I sing, I dance, I paint
Wow! they say. Is the bow a feint?
Maybe, maybe not.
They don’t, I think, don’t understand me at all.

I asked them to repeat what I said,
jumbling the words to another way they led.
Yes, they did, no they did not.
& then they said,’ you didn’t understand, at all. ‘

This one is my favorite poem, and yeah, this poem wrote itself. Let me know in the comments if you like it too. This is how I look at life, one weaving itself with just a little effort from us. If we let the precious moments in life expand on their own, life will surely turn out to be magical.

It’s a beautiful poem if u wanna read it again and every time u read it, u feel its not the same. Tell me it’s beautiful when words are signs, and sense unravels itself through invisible lines. Don’t tell me it’s good if there is only rhyme, if it feels good to the ear or coarse as in mime. I wish to pen a poem which will tell its next line, which will weave itself as melody, in its own time. Then you call it a beauty which will make it proud as it has tried on its own to be subtle while being loud.
Poetry being born

This poem is about the fears that we all have inside us, and the inherent need to face those fears. How every day, we struggle between our fears and the urge to overcome them.

Don’t Wake Me!

Don’t wake me as I haven’t yet slept. How can I, when I am still fighting the webs, the tentacles of realism?

Don’t wake me as I haven’t yet touched surreal. How can I, when I swim away from the flow, drowning at the shore?

Don’t wake me as I haven’t yet immersed. How can I, when I scan over the faces, running away from depths?

Don’t wake me as I haven’t fallen yet. How can I, when I shy away from danger, after flirting with death?

Why do I still want you to wake me, touch surreal, immerse deep? Even when I don’t dare fall asleep.

A poem on healing your heart. Let me know in the comments section if you were able to heal your heart, the way I did.

My heart was about to die, was ailing. So I decided to look for it and heed to its failing. It asked me to cry for all the pain, and to hug all that came my way. But I did that! It asked me to jump and dance on the beat of raindrops, to enjoy the swaying of trees every time I drive. I did that! It asked me to soar for the hidden joy in each day, to tune to wisdom of those who listen to their heart. I did that! My heart was singing, soaring with joy one day. I was surprised to know, that to my dying heart, I DID THAT!
Poem – Healing my ailing heart

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Hidden Signs of Stress: The Startling Impact of Sound on Your Body and Mind

1 Comment / Life lessons: Nature is an excellent teacher /

 

While reading about the Vibrations of Consonants and Vowels on the Body, I pondered: How Do Sound Vibrations Affect Us? Insights from Purdue University’s Prof. Hong Z Tan’s Research Purdue University research by Prof Hong Z Tan, set me thinking.

There must be a reason why some speakers ignite passions, some songs make you sad, or some quotes are world-famous. I now wonder if they all create a similar symphony of vibrations that your body tends to react to.

The Power of Sound: How It Can Affect Your Body and Mind

Have you ever observed that your words garner different reactions from different people? The same joke can be obnoxious to some and funny to others. Same abuses have a raging reaction by some and indifference by others. Sometimes it is just the words and sometimes the tone. Some have harsher pitches and some softer leading to different effects for the same argument. In fact, as per Vipassana – Sound creates vibrations. Our brain decodes these vibrations by matching them with the stored database. And, this stored information guides our reactions as per pre-emphasized meaning.

In Hindu mythology, there are different sounds (mantras) for different desires. Even the devotional songs have different reverberations like Hanuman Chalisa wards off fear, Tandava Stotram, or Devi Stotrams create energy shield. Similarly in western classical, there are Bach, Brahams, or Beethoven’s pieces which resolve maladies, from depression to Insomnia to even Dementia.

The Hidden Impact of Sound on Your Health: Are You Aware of the Consequences?

And this brings me to my final point that the vibrations have far-reaching repercussions. More importantly, do we pay attention to the sounds we have let into our lives? Do we realize, playing television non-stop in the background is creating a cacophony of vibrations? A noisy ambiance tends to stress and tire us more. While listening to positive sounds regularly tends to improve our physical and mental health.

Balancing Sound in Your Life: Tips for a Healthier Body and Mind

Positive, calm, soothing, or melodious sounds are a healthy diet. Moreover, listening daily to classical music, hymns, or shlokas tends to positive well-being. Some sounds relax us while some generate aggressive thoughts. Rock music is most preferred by youth because of its energetic vibrations. But, in a continual loop, this kind of music creates high energy that needs dissipation.

Tired? Explore the hidden signs of stress caused by sound & its impact on the human body and mind

Making Sound Choices: How to Optimize Your Relationship with Sound for Better Well-Being

I make it a point to not let noise into my life, and whenever unavoidable I counter it with soothing music or meditation. In addition, I do not prefer lengthy phone conversations and attend only critical conference calls. Also, I either watch television or shut it down, never let it play in the background. I choose to keep noise away. I now know which song has what effect on my body and use it to my advantage.

Every culture in the world has well-known musical pieces for mind, body & soul. We just need to use it effectively. I am attuned to the music from my culture. To cheer me up I listen to my favorite Bollywood songs, and to avoid fatigue I listen to Tandav Stotram or Aigiri Nandini. From time to time I listen to Hanuman Chalisa which sustains my independent spirit. & at times I listen to meditation sounds for treating my insomnia.

But the one sound which is most effective and hard to get used to is silence. Whenever I feel stressed out, I give myself a dose of silence, and lo behold! I am cured. 😎

Tag: Life Without Festivals, A Dread For Our Mental Health

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quote-simplify your life

Interesting ways to handle anger, I learned, by respecting it

1 Comment / Life hacks: Just one step can transform life, You are the society. Change starts with you /
Why Anger Is Not Always Bad, learn in this article

Anger is intense energy. Ask someone who loses control under its power. In fact, the true power of anger can be estimated with its symptoms itself. The body starts shaking, while the mind is depleted of all thoughts except the topic under discussion. For this kind of laser-sharp focus, I have been futilely trying meditation. The power that anger gives me, the omnipotent feeling, meditation is not able to yet 😀.

Anger can also be a signage signaling – “It’s time for a change”. Change your attitude or the situation or learn to handle the situation in a fruitful way. Do you remember, anger is what brought on the major revolutions in history? Strange, but have you ever realized that anger is a sure-shot way for your body to tell you, what you don’t like. And thus, it can make things crystal clear and help in deep realizations. Also, unlike Sadness, depression, irritation, or frustration, anger is the only negative emotion that results in action.

But the problem with anger is:

  1. The energy thus derived is not sustainable for long.
  2. We do not control this energy, the energy controls us. And that is exactly the danger – you cannot control it.

Hence the need for anger management. Managing anger is not about suppressing it, or otherwise shouting insensibly. It is about knowing when to suppress and when to vent out. Anger is like a flooded river, while anger management is like the dam built on the river. To control the volume of water that can be safely released. 

What I used to do, whenever I got angry

  • Become mute. Because our mind is at its sharpest when angry. It can also come out with the most harmful statements during this time. Intelligent – yes, but really harmful.
  • Walk out of the situation. It can seem arrogant at times, but it’s seriously better to not say at this so called – opportune moment 😀 (however wrong, abusing someone can feel heavenly for that moment).
  • Sometimes when I am really out of control and can’t adhere to any of the above, I just utter short and few sentences. The more you talk, the more crap you are gonna come out with.

Frankly, it all revolves around me saying nothing 😀 and yeah, it is a Band-Aid solution.

What I have learnt over time.

The best solution is to state the concern in a dignified way and clarify your limits or what is acceptable and what is not.

But when people involved, respond to only shouting language, then I communicate in the same or just walk away. I gauge my response as per the people involved.

Sometimes, venting out anger can be beneficial in healthy doses. We may get crushed by others if we do not learn to stand up when required.

There is also this second kind of scenario where my opponent is angrier than me. That is my favorite situation, as then I get full control over my anger. My mind starts to think about what is the best thing I can say without encountering permanent damage, and end up delivering the last word 😎

In Hindu mythology, Shiva and Shakti both are known for intense anger and their dance thereupon, which is a practical solution as exercise and creativity can together vent out the intense energy and help it cool down. This is also a solution for – we mortals, in fact whenever I exercise I feel better. Meditation is for the long term but immediate relief is achieved only through exercise.

I confess I am still learning my way with anger management and I get disastrous results many times but honing anger management is better than blunting anger. I don’t believe in suppressing anger.

The only point I make sure to remember is, not take any kind of decisions when angry. Wait till you can make a joke of the situation and then decide on the matter.

Angry with boss? Go home and hit a punching bag. Angry with traffic? listen to your favorite song – it may be the only time you get to relax. Angry with the world? time to change yourself, I guess. 😀

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Why Anger Is Not Always Bad, learn in this article

What is so special about the autobiography of a Yogi?

Leave a Comment / Books on my shelf /
Book review- autobiography of a yogi

I had heard of the ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’ by Paramahansa Yogananda, many times before but never felt like picking it up. After all how interesting can a yogi’s life be? So my money and time was spent on other books but definitely not this one, not even if someone was letting it to me for free.

Then one day my brother told me of how this book was Steve job’s favorite. I had read online that Jobs came to India in his youth searching for mystical experience but was disappointed to not find one. I wondered, then why would he be so impressed by a book about a Yogi from India. It seemed strange and even more incredible was the fact that it was the last gift to those who attended his memorial. I mean seriously, how impressed can you be by a book to hand it over as your last gift?

Well, this was reason enough for me to check out the book. As soon as I read it, I felt grateful to Steve jobs for his last gift to me as well. I am not as grateful to him for my iPhone as I am for this book.

I read spiritual or motivational books very slowly, savoring each page. 5 to 10 pages at bedtime. No wonder it took me some months to complete it.

I won’t say it is some extraordinary book that suddenly changed my life or showed me paradise or gave the answers to all life’s questions. No, instead the way it impacted me was very subtle. It just showed me how there is something more to this physical world. There is now, this possibility of surpassing the ordinary.

I don’t know how it will affect a non-believer, I guess I have to wait for my brother to read it. But for a believer, it just crystallizes your beliefs in the supernatural. The idea of God, Energy, Meditation, Mysticism, Intuition, Miracles, and all similar supernatural beliefs become much stronger. And these beliefs are necessary for a magical life.

In this ordinary life, it is the belief in extraordinary that makes life seem beautiful. It’s like love, you suddenly start looking at the world with rosy lenses. Your expectations from everything and even from yourself change. I am still ambitious and still a regular employee, but now I no more believe in linearity. I now realize life is all about either exponential, linear, or a horizontal line depending on what you expect from it.

Has my life changed after the autobiography of a yogi, have I initiated on the yogic path? Not exactly. But now with a different lens to see life, many of my problems have evaporated. I now have more creative and impossible solutions at hand.

I was since a long time on the path of Law of Attraction, Meditation, and Positivism, this book just got me deeper and stronger in this direction.

Steve jobs had read it every year. I may not do that. But once in a while, I may open any page of the book to stay in touch with my newly founded beliefs.

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Book review- autobiography of a yogi

How does a deer know that it is herbivorous?

7 Comments / Life lessons: Nature is an excellent teacher /

I read of this tip – for a lizard problem, place a peacock feather there. Not so useful, as it is effective for only a few feet. But the point is, I tried it and the tip is accurate. Lizards do not come near a peacock feather, and it definitely is weird. How can a house lizard, that has never seen a peacock, even its recent ancestors may never have seen, can recognize its predator? And that too from a harmless feather. I am sure the feather is not even original but just a look-alike.

And then one day I saw this Youtube video, where they tried to place a toy snake near a cat. Those cats had never seen a snake before, but they were petrified of this particular toy. It got me searching and I found this research on monkeys’ responses to images of snakes.

Seems like a lot of information is passed on from our ancestors through our DNA like phobias and diseases. Information on, what are the different kinds of dangers and our response to same. Like, how does your body know what to do when encountering danger, why does your blood pump faster to make you ready to run? Information on, what should we eat? How does a deer know that it is herbivorous?

If the animals have so much knowledge passed on, then I wonder how much have we humans got from our ancestors. Our DNA carries a lot more information. And is it possible that bodily functions are just a drop of knowledge in this vast ocean of subconscious information? Maybe this is why our mystics say that we are capable of a lot more.

I wonder, why is there Nadia Comaneci, the famous gymnast, with a perfect 10, while I trip even walking on flat ground? Did her DNA carry some extra information or did it just pass on as inactive information to me? After all, I also have yogic ancestors. A lot of scientists are spending days and nights decoding our DNA, but are we going to wait till then? Why not overreach our capabilities by 1% at a time and see if we are capable of it.

Let us complete one more task today. Maybe our productivity levels can be easily overreached.

Let us try to learn one more skill today. Maybe there are hidden skills, we are not yet aware of.

Let us practice one more Yoga posture today. Are we underreaching our flexibility?

Be it learning a language, having a dancer’s flexibility, coding software. How will you know till you try it? Will you wait till scientists find out a way to decode our DNA, maybe generations will pass by then. I would never have thought I could design this website on my own. It always seemed like the job of an expert, who may be has got this kind of creative skill in his DNA.

It is time to ponder, are we restricting our capacity with our own boundaries of thoughts and beliefs? Have we missed out on information in our DNA, just because we never tried? Do you realize we have got in our DNA, information from thousands of our ancestors?

Hi, I am a Life Coach & Blogger. And my passion is to take you to your highest potential. If this article has switched some buttons in you, take that first step in exploring your potential, today. Identifying a skill and then practicing it can easily upgrade our life to the next level.

Let me know in the comment section, what your unexplored skill could be.

Tags: How do sound vibrations affect our bodies?

Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

Feeling Stuck? Let’s Figure It Out Together.

Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Take a Small Step—Visit My Coaching Page Now.

How does a deer know that it is herbivorous? Read More »

deer and its dna

3 powerful life lessons from a river’s life

3 Comments / Life lessons: Nature is an excellent teacher /

Lessons from nature series.

Have you ever thought, how life is like a river flowing to the ocean, trying to be part of something bigger than itself? Always flowing from one day to the next, trying to chart out a path. There are times when the intensity is so high that you flood others and yourself. And times, when you manage a lot, tottering at a slow pace like a steady current. Do you realize, not only does our life resembles a river, but also we can learn a lot from it?

How a river’s life progression is like our own.

The origin is always humble, and then it builds up on energy, enthusiasm, and excitement. Initially, due to the fast learning, there are lots of rapids and shallows (forms of the river when it is turbulent or shallow). Then, with the waterfalls cascading and dribbling around, comes the beauty of youth. Flowing further, it transforms to a strong current with steady progression. Water is no more gushing or outpouring like an eager youth. Don’t get deceived by this form of the river, outwardly calm and contained, but mightier than an invading army.

Ultimately, it’s time to move into the ocean. Every river has a unique identity, but once they merge into the ocean, they assume one single identity.

We all chart this path, some reach maturity and some are not even able to go ahead of the rapids and shallows. Not every water body is capable of becoming a mighty river, yet not every river needs to be mighty. 

There is a lot we can learn from a life-giving, powerful, and ever-flowing river. Some of these lessons are critical to our existence.

  1. Many are born a river, but some do not have the background (a big source of water). Is the lack of background important, or what you gain during your journey can be sufficient?
  2. Rivers that continue for longer duration are those which are mightier. The more depth there is, the more mighty a river is. Doesn’t depth of knowledge and maturity leads one to mightiness?
  3. A river does not flow to serve others, it is just its nature to flow and by being true to its nature, it is serving the whole ecosystem. Is it a lesson that we do not need to serve especially? If we are true to our nature as a human being, won’t we will automatically serve humanity?

What do you think, let me know in the comments section?

I am a Life Coach & Blogger, and I believe that every single creation of God has a life lesson for us. To explore more of these lessons, be connected, through my blog and Social Media.

Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

Feeling Stuck? Let’s Figure It Out Together.

Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Take a Small Step—Visit My Coaching Page Now.

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quote on a river

‘I Always Make Bad Decisions.’ So What, Get Over It Now.

Leave a Comment / Law of Attraction /

“I have made so many wrong decisions in the past.”

I have heard this non-stop cribbing so many times. And I have just one thing to say. We get opportunities to make choices throughout our life. What if we made some bad ones, why can’t the next ones be better? Aren’t we learning from our bad choices? There is never a permanent choice, even if it is a bad marriage, bankruptcy, irreparable body damage. All our bad choices just lead us to a different path. Life is always delivering us gifts that we may choose to open or not. Let’s learn from those who have overcome their obstacles and became an inspiration for others, like Stephen Hawking, Nick Vujicic, Malala Yousafzai…

Even if you are not an inspiration to the world, at least you can be proud of yourself in the mirror if you lead your life by making the right choices. Learn from the past and just make a bit better choice in present. Unless you are dead, life is giving you opportunities to make better choices every moment.

Have you seen anyone in the world without regret? There are only those who allot lifetimes thinking about them or those who allot a few months in life and then move ahead. And sometimes crying over bad decisions lead us to worse, as our focus is only on problems and not on solutions.

I have too many regrets over my bad decisions, so I have decided to spend a few mins every year thinking about them. After all, life is too funny, interesting, ever-changing to spend any more time on regrets.

Whenever something bad happens in life, I just try to tie it all and restrict it to that one bad chapter. Its spillover cannot be stopped but reduced over the next chapters of life.

‘I Always Make Bad Decisions.’ So What, Get Over It Now. Read More »

Side effects of Law of Attraction

Leave a Comment / Law of Attraction /
beauty of law of attraction
Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

This is not a blog on Law of Attraction manifestations, instead, it is on the delicious side effects of LoA. Just wonderful, the way my life has changed.

Similar to the other LoA followers, “The Secret” introduced me to LoA. And since then, I am hooked. I may not be consistent with my manifestations, and I am definitely not over the clouds all the time. As is the culture around, I tend to forget gratitude and crib at times. And that’s how I sometimes manifest a mixed bag of events. In spite of it all, I have manifested many beautiful things in life, but this blog is not about that.

This blog is about how LoA has perpetually changed my life. My outlook towards life has completely shifted. I no more look at things as permanent, especially when something bad happens. Any plight, fight or predicament – changes. So whenever something not so happening happens, I stay positive and wait for a few days. After all, the more positive I am, the more the situation transforms itself. No more bad bosses, bad colleagues, or bad companies. I no more care about what people say or think cause they will obviously change their opinion about me. I only focus on what I want and the rest happens on its own. And all these are not my manifestations, just how life is nowadays.

I have become an optimist. I now understand how every cloud has a silver lining. Doesn’t everything turn out great in the course of time?

Unlike before, life is easier now. Every time I take a decision I leave the ending to God, with a prayer that whatever happens is for my best. It’s not that I no more make mistakes, but I do not suffer them that much. In fact, I now make much more strong decisions than before.

I trust my intuition more, I meditate more, and I laugh more. A lot of things may still not be happening in my life, but overall, I am a happy person. My present is much more beautiful than my past. And the future, which exists only in my mind is a beautiful dream and not a nightmare anymore.

I guess, this will be a cheat sheet if I do not mention the negative side effects. I have majorly observed these side-effects during earlier stages. Some people become overconfident and take rash decisions. Wait! take a pause! cause it will stabilize within a few months. Better to not take any drastic decisions in the earlier practices. Let intuition develop first. After intuition develops, decisions will no more be rash they will just be risky (worth taking).

Some people expect life to be hunky-dory all the time with LoA. Well, this is not how life is designed. LoA is there, to not unnecessarily invite trouble. Instead, when there are ups and downs, let the ups go higher and the lows not as low as before. And LoA is not to make you delusional, but to make your reality rosier. Nothing wrong to expect the actualization of impossible dreams, they do happen. But there is a difference between dreaming of flying and jumping from a building. If you dream to fly, LoA will give you multiple opportunities to do so. The way Wright brothers got them. Instead, if you decide to jump without understanding Life & LoA, then it will be invited trouble.

Truth be told, even if LoA does not work, it still can make life beautiful. With the right attitude, driving on curvy roads is enchanting, A roller coaster ride is fun. And rains means rainbows.

Staying true to the topic, I haven’t mentioned the beauty of manifestations which is like the icing on the cake 😉

(In case you are new to Law of Attraction, you may be missing on a lot of magic. Start with the basics and buy ‘The SECRET’ now.

Hi, I am a Life coach and blogger, and Law of attraction is my favorite tool. It does wonders to our lives. And you will be thankful for the opening of this magical doorway. Keep reading my blog for more on the topic. Feel free to connect with me.

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Side effects of Law of Attraction Read More »

Why Society’s Labels and Stereotypes Hurt More Than You Think

Leave a Comment / You are the society. Change starts with you /
Image representing societal labels and stereotypes, with a mannequin covered in colorful tags and a large label saying "I am labeling You."

Have you ever felt misunderstood—not for who you are, but for the label society chose for you?

In a world quick to classify, and slow to understand. labels and stereotypes are more than just words – they are limiting molds that distort identity and hinder potential..

The Hidden Damage of Societal Labels

Labels might seem harmless—just shorthand for describing someone. But they come at a steep cost: they flatten complexity into categories. In trying to make people easier to understand, labels actually make them harder to truly know.

Instead of seeing a person’s full depth—their evolving thoughts, talents, contradictions, and dreams—we focus on a single defining trait: “She’s shy,” “He’s an MBA,” “They’re a dropout.”
And that one trait becomes the entire story.

Labels Reduce Human Complexity

Humans are inherently layered. We are logic and emotion, certainty and doubt, boldness and hesitation. Labels ignore that richness. They give people a one-dimensional identity, which may be easy to digest—but it’s entirely incomplete.

Worse, once labeled, people begin to shrink themselves to fit the tag. Or exhaust themselves trying to break it.

Ilabels often say more about the person assigning them than the one receiving them. One reason people go for labeling is, it is easier for them to reduce complex personalities to bite sized tags. But this oversimplification, at what cost?

The Psychological Impact: Anxiety, Self-Doubt, and Role Conflict

Being labeled triggers a quiet mental war.

  • Anxiety: People feel constant pressure to live up to or down to their label. The “smart kid” fears failure. The “quiet one” dreads speaking up. The “funny guy” hides their sadness.
  • Self-Doubt: When your own understanding of who you are conflicts with how the world sees you, it creates identity dissonance. Over time, you start to doubt your worth and your own truth. Boost your confidence with the article here
  • Conforming vs. Rebelling: You’re stuck in a loop. Either you conform and suffocate—or rebel and constantly justify your choices. Both paths are exhausting.

This mental toll isn’t always visible. But it silently erodes confidence, limits career growth, and even damages relationships.

From Tags to Traps: How Labels Limit Our Lives

Let’s look at some common examples of how society’s neat labels become messy obstacles:

MBA

You’re expected to be corporate-minded, logical, and “successful”—even if your true calling is in teaching, writing, or the nonprofit world. An MBA becomes a ceiling rather than a stepping stone.

Dropout

Instantly seen as unambitious or undisciplined. Never mind if you’re self-taught, entrepreneurial, or choosing a non-traditional path. The word “dropout” dismisses your journey before it’s even understood.

Introvert

Assumed to be shy, anti-social, or even incapable of leadership. The truth? Many introverts are strategic thinkers, deeply creative, and powerful one-on-one communicators.

Extrovert

Expected to be loud, energetic, and always “on.” But what if they’re feeling tired, introspective, or need space? They’re judged for not performing their personality.

Each of these labels comes with invisible expectations. Break them, and you’re “not living up to your potential.” Conform to them, and you might never realize your full potential.

Gold vs. Iron: A Metaphor for Misjudged Identity

I wrote the following poem to capture how damaging this system can be.

I'm Gold

I'm Gold they called me Iron.
With Iron they heated me,
for melting early they scrapped me.

I'm Gold, why they called me Iron. 
Sold me at a dollar a pound,
& said, 'what a bargain I found !'

I'm Gold, but they called me Iron.
tried to color, redden or whiten,
everything was okay only not golden.

I'm gold, yet they called me iron.
I may shine, I may brighten, 
but for them I'll always be iron.

I'm Iron

I'm Iron they call me Gold, 
and wonder why at their prices I'm not sold.

I'm Iron they call me Gold, 
hoping prices will soar they keep me on hold.

I am Iron, why they call me gold? 
Do they know at gold's melting point I don't even fold.

I'm Iron, yet they call me gold, 
they don't call blacksmith, always Goldsmith gets the scold.

I’m Iron, alas! they call me Gold, 
never do they realize my uses are multifold.

Why Society’s Labels Are Often Misleading

Labels Distort Value—Not Define It

Imagine two metals—Gold and Iron.

Gold is celebrated, precious, and admired. Iron? Overlooked, utilitarian, ordinary. You might think being called Iron is an insult. But here’s the truth: Iron builds bridges, powers machines, and holds up skyscrapers. Gold glitters, but Iron holds things together.

Yet in society, just like with metals, we assign value based not on usefulness, depth, or real-world impact, but on perceived prestige.

Society often misjudges people just like these metals—rewarding the wrong traits, and punishing the right ones simply because they don’t “fit the label.”

We reward the “golden ones”—those who look shiny, fit the mold, or meet aesthetic or social expectations. Meanwhile, we dismiss those who are foundational but less flashy. The quiet thinker. The hardworking introvert. The underestimated dropout. The blue-collar worker. The caregiver. The coder without a degree. The woman who didn’t speak up in a meeting but had the best idea. Research on the stereotype threat stresses well on this point.

Someone quiet in meetings? Must be uninterested.
Someone expressive? Must be emotional.
Someone with a creative degree? Must not be “serious” about work.

The truth is:
🔸 Gold melts early.
🔸 Iron withstands the heat.

Yet when society mislabels people, they either burn too early or are never allowed to shine.

Labels vs. True Value: What Society Rewards Isn’t Always What Matters

Society tends to reward the familiar.
The polished.
The marketable.

But true value doesn’t always come with a shiny surface.

Think of the colleagues who hold everything together behind the scenes — but never get the spotlight.
Or the friend who doesn’t speak often — but when they do, they shift the conversation.
Or the student who isn’t top of the class — but changes lives with their kindness, loyalty, or resilience.

Labeling dismisses these silent forces.
And in doing so, it holds everyone back.

The Real Damage: Labels Are Not Based on Understanding

When you’re labeled, you’re not seen.
You’re simplified.
Reduced.

Worse, you’re asked to either match the label — or fight it. Either way, it takes energy that could have gone toward your growth.

Think about this: even nature, even our Creator, gave each of us unique traits.
So who are we — as humans — to ignore that uniqueness and impose cookie-cutter molds?

We aren’t just one thing.
We’re layers.
And we deserve the space to unfold, not be pre-categorized.

How Stereotypes Limit Potential

The Real Damage: Labels Are Not Based on Understanding

The worst part?
We don’t label people based on who they are.
We create our molds, and then force people to fit in.
We dismiss what’s real in favor of what’s familiar.

Even nature and our Creator endowed each of us with unique qualities. But society chooses stereotypes over individuality, categories over nuance.

And once labeled, people spend their entire lives either trying to shake that label off—or painfully outperform it. What a colossal waste of human potential.

Stop Labeling Me. See Me.

Don’t typecast me by:

  • My nature — sweet or reserved
  • My education — engineering or arts
  • My job — IT or marketing

I am more. I am me.

With every label, I am made to fight for my identity. But labels are not identity. And stereotypes are not truth.

It’s time we stop scanning each other with outdated QR codes assigned by society—and start seeing the full picture.

Living Beyond Labels: Embracing Your Full Identity

You are not your degree.
You are not your job title.
You are not the trait someone else used to summarize you.

You’re the sum of your values, your stories, your potential.

Instead of asking “What are you?” maybe we should start asking “Who are you becoming?”

It’s time to unlearn lazy labeling.
To honor both the Gold and the Iron in each of us.

Whether your shine is visible or your strength is quiet — your value is real.

Accept me for who I am. For I am more than my identity, more than my label, more than a stereotype. I am a human with unlimited potential.

Have you ever been mislabeled or misunderstood? Share your story in the comments. Let’s start seeing beyond the surface — together.

I share reflections on personal growth, inner clarity, and navigating change—quietly and thoughtfully.
You’re welcome to connect with me on [Instagram] or [Facebook].

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Career Growth & Life Coach Shailaja Shankar

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Life can feel overwhelming at times—whether it’s work, decisions, or just finding balance. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’d like a space to reflect, gain clarity, or move forward, feel free to explore my coaching page. I’d love to support you on your journey.

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Why Society’s Labels and Stereotypes Hurt More Than You Think Read More »

Is labeling people appropriate? a discussion on labeling people and its impact

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